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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Paradise Party
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  Author    Paradise Party  (currently 858 views)
Posted: January 29th, 2014, 5:40pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Paradise Party by Steven Burton - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - Alan celebrates life with joy, generosity, and inspiration from others towards a spiritual transition. 13 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (4 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  October 6th, 2017, 3:17pm
revised draft and logline
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Posted: February 1st, 2014, 8:19am Report to Moderator

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Good efforts, but your script is not properly formatted. No one will spend time reading and giving you feedback if they don't think you spent enough time to represent your script properly.

I assume you used a screenplay template in Microsoft Word to write this. It's not good enough. If you don't buy a professional screenwriting software, use Celtx. It's free.

Read the content of this website. It's helpful.

I'll wait for you till you submit a better formatted version. Till then, take care.
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Posted: January 24th, 2017, 5:33am Report to Moderator

Giving up is not an option....

Kiwi in Ohio
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Hi Steve, I've seen you on here before, so I know this isn't your first. I tried to read it, but the format put me off from reading further. Realxwriter is correct..Definately work on your formatting.  Keep at, keep learning and it will all fall into place. Look forward to the re-write...

"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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