How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 13 Guests
Pages: 1
Author
Gods Waiting Room (currently 1023 views)
Don
Posted: February 16th, 2014, 3:20pm
Administrator Administrator
So, what are you writing?
Location Virginia
Posts 16381
Posts Per Day 1.94
Gods Waiting Room by Richard Silvester - Short, Drama - Going to your own funeral can be fun. 13 pages - pdf, format
Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site. ------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
SAC
Posted: February 26th, 2014, 9:05am
Of The Ancients
… but some dreams do
Location Upstate NY
Posts 3201
Posts Per Day 0.79
Richard, Is don't know if you're around, but I saw this got no reads so I took a look. And it's obvious why it got no reads. Unless you're filming this yourself, then you can lose the early camera directions you have. But even that is not consistent as you did away with those as the story went on. This was hard to read as a script. Your action blocks read much more like prose, like a short story. So that's how I approached it and got through to the end. Your use of flashbacks was confusing as there were so many of them. But the gist, I guess, is that this guy Albert worked in a funeral home and died trying to move something on Victoria's gravesite. I dunno. Like I said, hard to follow this. And in the end everyone in the church were ghosts? Again, just couldn't grasp it. You need to figure out if this is a script or a short story. As a script this doesn't work because your formatting is way off and confusing. Best advice, read other scripts around here. See how it's done, then try it again. Or just make it a short story. Either way, your story needs to be much clearer for it to have a chance at being effective...and readable. Steve
Reply: 1 - 2
Dreamscale
Posted: February 26th, 2014, 10:27am
Guest User
It's also a dead give away when the writer can't spell his own title correctly. It's "God's", not "Gods". Very poor...
Logged
Reply: 2 - 2
Pages: 1
Locked Board
Board Index Short Scripts [ previous | next ]
Switch to:
News Questions or Comments Site Redesign Screenwriting Class Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Review My Logline Script Review Exchange My Work In Progress Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts The 2020 Writers' Tournament The 2019 Writers' Tournament The 2018 Writers' Tournament The Business Of Scripts Queries and Pitches Options and Contracts Agents, Managers, and Lawyers Copyright Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Short Western Radio and Stage Plays 1Q '24 OWC Halloween 2023 One Week Challenge September '23 OWC August '23 OWC July 2023 OwC April '23 OWC A 'Quickie' Challenge Halloween 2022 One Week Challenge Summer Quickie April 2022 OWC One Queue Twenty-Two The Placeholder 2021 Challenge December 2021 One Week Challenge November, 2021 OWC The Halloween 2021 One Week Challenge The September 2021 OWC The August 2021 OWC The July, 2021 OWC The June 2021 Challenge The May 2021 Challenge The April 2021 Challenge February, 2021 One Week Challenge December 2020 One Week Challenge Halloween 2020 One Week Challenge September, 2020 One Week Challenge June, 2020 One Week Challenge May, 2020 Challenge March Challenge January 2020 - One Week Challenge October, 2019 One Week Challenge The August Challenge April, 2019 One Week Challenge January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018 Stephen King - All about the King Fiction– There Are Other Worlds than These Non-Fiction - To Write is Human, to Edit is Divine Adaptations – Here’s Johnny! Stephen King Collectors and Shelfies
Forum Rules
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post polls You may not post attachments
HTML is on Blah Code is on Smilies are on