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Ciaran De Bergerac by Anthony Cawood - Short, Comedy, Drama - A techno twist on the classic tale - star crossed lovers meet in a cafe for a first date but can Ciaran overcome his nerves? - pdf, format
Interesting take on the Cyrano story. (Believe me, if there's anyone on this board who knows Cyrano backwards and forewards, it's me.) Honestly, I wish I'd thought of this twist myself.
I do think you could do more with premise - alot of the banter between Ciaran and Josie is too mundane - IMO, I'd have him trip up more, in spectacular and embarassing ways, due to Harry's sabotague.
One other thing - I don't know if this was intentional, but you've basically switched the Cyrano and Christian characters. I'd suggest *maybe* having Christian/Harry be the bumbling fool... and Ciaran in the background, to more closely mirror the play (while still giving it your modern spin, and letting Cyrano win this one.)
In terms of mundane banter - I was going for something that I thought felt plausible between the characters, but I'll have another look and see if I can spice it up a little.
Swapping the characters was intentional, a twist from the original, my feeling was that this would be an interesting point of difference for those familiar with the source.
Once again thanks for the comments, much appreciated.
Hi Nick and thanks for another read - really appreciated.
Have altered this one, mostly dialogue changes and now have two sets of film makers hoping to film in next couple of months - on in US, one in Italy. Be interesting to see what happens.
After about 3 false starts with this script, and one unreleasable filmed attempt, this script is being filmed in India this month... fingers crossed for a less troubled production!
Oh man, didn’t realize how many years ago this script was written. As I’m reading the thread I saw a ‘Wonk’ review in there and I’m like; “huh… is she back?” err, no.
Anyway, thought I’d go into this blind, vis-à-vis, not reading the script before watching… glad I did. Humorous and whimsical, yet… urbane, I really liked this, they did a great job with your story idea.
Another one for your script-ography and something to be proud of for sure!