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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  Take It To The Grave Moderators: bert
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  Author    Take It To The Grave  (currently 1431 views)
Don
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 8:23am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Take It To The Grave by Justin A. Swartz (Swatzie) - Horror - David Alexander loved Nikki Cole with all of his heart.  That's why he killed her. 96 pages - pdf, format


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NickSedario
Posted: March 16th, 2014, 11:29am Report to Moderator
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Needs a better logline and get rid of the CONTNUEDS, other than that, I read the first 21 pages and like where it's going.  Don't have time to finish it right now but hopefully will get back to it later.  

All the best.
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Busy Little Bee
Posted: September 13th, 2014, 11:52am Report to Moderator
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What's up Swatzie

Not sure if what you have constitutes as a “log line,” and it doesn’t follow character, obstacle, sense of outcome as a “A, B, C” format, yet it does draw intrigue, if he loves her why and how did he killer and how does he live with it. Also, it has the character, David, and a significant even that launches the story (intrigue).

Willing to take a look, hope you're still around.

BLB


Commodus: But the Emperor Claudius knew that they were up to something. He knew they were busy little bees. And one night he sat down with one of them and he looked at her and he said, "Tell me what you have been doing, busy little bee..."
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