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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Kat LeShay: The Matrix Dossier Moderators: bert
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  Author    Kat LeShay: The Matrix Dossier  (currently 1781 views)
Don
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 8:57am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Kat LeShay: The Matrix Dossier by Rat W - Short, Action, Adventure - Kidnappers get more than they bargained for when they kidnap Kat LeShay’s estranged husband. (This is the result of an exercise to write a short story incorporating as many cliche elements as possible.) 5 pages - pdf, format


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RayW
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 9:10am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Don.  

Just something fun I did a short while back, now doing nothing but gathering dust on my hard drive.
Thought I'd share.

Anyone else got some film/story cliche pet peeves to grieve about?



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Kat LeShay: The Matrix Dossier by Rat W

Hey! That's "Ray" not "Rat"!!!



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rendevous
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 9:17am Report to Moderator
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Freudian slip?

I will read. Once my pipe is empty. It's the slugs. The margarine didn't help either. But Frankie had a good time.

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

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The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

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Reef Dreamer
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 4:21pm Report to Moderator
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Tried to read on my iPad...didn't seem to like me in google docs.

I'll try tomorrow.


My scripts  HERE

The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville
Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final
Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards.  Third - Honolulu
Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place
IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
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rendevous
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 6:27pm Report to Moderator
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Dear Rat,

sorry - Ray,

Not sure about this Google docs business. I think it may have  something to do with friendly internet giants lying through their teeth. So more me than you, then. Moving on...

Wasps? Did you have to bring them up so soon? If you mention slugs then I'll know you're messing with my head.

Frankly I was a bit lost. It was like that time I had to pick up a parcel in Birmingham.

I take it this is to be animated so a certain tone is to be had, hence the dialogue being the way it is and the inheriant silliness. Something I'm obviously quite a fan of.

The line about 'a blade' is very good. It needs more of that stuff as it does feel like it's missing something as it is.

R


Out Of Character - updated


New Used Car

Green

Right Back

The Deuce - OWC - now on STS

Other scripts here
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RayW
Posted: April 18th, 2014, 11:52pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from rendevous
I take it this is to be animated so a certain tone is to be had, hence the dialogue being the way it is and the inheriant silliness. Something I'm obviously quite a fan of.

Nah, I had no intention of animating this.
I got fed up a few months ago reading a bunch of nube written stories riddled with sophomoric cliches and though I'd grunt out one of my own with as many cliches crammed in there as I possibly could.
The tone was to be absurdly serious to the point the reader would ask aloud "Are you serious?"

No.
No I'm not serious.
I'm seriously annoyed with silly sophomoric cliche, but no, I don't think this is serious story craft.
It's shite on a surfboard.


Quoted Text
The line about 'a blade' is very good. It needs more of that stuff as it does feel like it's missing something as it is.

LOL!
Sweet Jeezus!
You mean I missed opportunities to cram more cliches?!
Heavens.






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Andy JW
Posted: April 20th, 2014, 5:00am Report to Moderator
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This was very funny. Due to a lot off added asides to the reader and some of the descriptions I do think that maybe some of the jokes could be hard to show on screen, though.

By the way, I was immensely relieved when I realized that it was satirical (right about the time Toki showed up). Up to the point I was thinking "seriously?"
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RayW
Posted: April 20th, 2014, 6:08am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Andy.

In the sequel I will introduce Toki's successor, a token almost-as-attractive hot Asian sidekick chick with a katana: Tokai!

(Barf.  I feel emabarassed even to layer on the drivel this thick.)



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