It's Always Sunny Spec- Paddy's Delivery by Nathan Hill - Short, Comedy, Spec - The gang comes up with another plan to run a delivery service for the bar but as always things don't go to plan. 27 pages - pdf, format

Thanks for the post Don, hope IASIP fans enjoy!

Your action lines are still in upper-case.

I posted this before you gave me the advice, working on a short that doesn't have uppercase action lines haha.

Just saying... it'll be a brave soul that tackles every word in every action line being in uppercase. Particularly when your dialogue is normal. Everyone will ask... why?

Rework these scripts and I'm sure you'll get reads.

Ok I was the brave soul!

As Dustin said please re-write with action lines formatted properly, felt like I was being shouted at for the last 10 minutes

Other aspects of formatting:-
1) Parenthesis
(Shouting) PADDY’S DELIVERY!
this should be
(shouting)
PADDY’S DELIVERY!
The parenthesis has it's own line... no nead to capitalise either, you've already said shouting.
2) You need to re-read it carefully there are a number of 'to' which should be 'too' and there are a few instances of words that are connected together that need a space in between them.
3) Cut to: this isn't widely used anymore, the new slugline is enough to indicate a change of scene.
4) You don't need camera movements/direction in a spec script, they come later.

Story itself...
So I don't really think anyone would talk about rape quite that much... I get that they are a dysfunctional family unit but even so...
The idea of van taking beer round a poor neighbourhood for bums to buy... if the booze was a cover for drugs maybe but just beer?
The end left me scratching my head a little, I was expecting something bigger, but felt more like 'back to the drawing board' - if that was the intention then fair enough.

Still It clipped along and I read it to the end, maybe worth a re-write.

Cheers

Anthony

Thanks for the help, mate! I'm taking all the tips I can for my new scripts. As for the rape thing, the reason they talk about it because of the gang taking small problems and making them big ones in conversation, that's why they basically argue about rape haha. And as for the ending, I actually pitched this to a IASIP writer so I didn't want to have the ending affect their story, so I made the episode like it was a filler, just another episode :p.