Black Easter by Robert Hawks - Horror - In the near future, a jaded billionaire contracts with a black mnagician to release all the demons from Hell for just one night. 100 pages - pdf, format

Code INT. THE MAGICIAN’S OFFICE - MORNING An elite, discreet, PROFESSIONAL’S OFFICE - within a large Italian Estate, some time in the fall. A briefcase concealing a recording device rests at the feet of two men who sit comfortably before a magnificent desk.

Screenplay writing is about show not tell. It can be just as enjoyable, if not more so, once you get the hang of it.

You describe in the slug that this is a magicians office. Right away this conjures up certain images in my mind. I wonder, why it changes to PROFESSIONAL'S OFFICE in the action? What is elite about the office? In what manner is it discreet? How do we know it is within an Italian Estate? On screen all we would see is an office... unless you establish the Estate first the viewer cannot see it... so you are telling us something. Show don't tell.

Rewrite the entire script heeding this advice and come back.

Quoted from DustinBowcot You describe in the slug that this is a magicians office. Right away this conjures up certain images in my mind.

Nice!