SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 24th, 2017, 4:08am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login


If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship
Scripts Studios are Posting for 2016 - 2017 Script Award Consideration Updated 1/12!


The Real January One Week Challenge Theme is...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Short Scripts Review Submission

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Radio and Stage Plays  ›  Eve and Oliver
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Eve and Oliver  (currently 3350 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: October 18th, 2014, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
10774
Posts Per Day
1.84
Eve and Oliver by Hendrik Riemens - Play, Romance - Eve is a simple girl who sees life through her innocent and romanticized eyes. Oliver is an aspiring rapper who works at an Apple store. They have nothing in common except for their unconditional love for each other, but is that enough? 8 pages - pdf, format


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
LeeOConnor
Posted: November 14th, 2014, 5:11pm Report to Moderator
Purple



Location
UK
Posts
157
Posts Per Day
0.16
Hi Hendrick.

Nice little play here. A few things I pointed out though.

The "/" is not necessary to indicate to us that its the characters next line, I would recommend losing it.

The "..." that you have put in then (eve interrupts him) is also unnecessary. Just the "..." will do. Eve actually interrupting him gives that away.

When you start a new scene it must be on a fresh page and the paragraph describing the scene should stand alone. There are no spaces in your script from dialogue to description, space it out.

In my opinion the first scene should be them meeting at the iPhone store, I think the scene would work better being in sequence.

Also with a play a synopsis is the first thing we should see and in some cases the characters and a brief about them.

The title may work better as "Oliver and eve" i know it is similar to two well known characters world wide but hay.

The story flows and is very simply to play out but I would look at the format a little more.

I hope this helps.


Lee

The Postman
Pacificus
The Peace Line
West Country Revenge
Continuum Youth
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Radio and Stage Plays  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006