Where Bad Ideas Come From. by Ian J. Courter - Short, Comedy - The Good Idea Fairy provides twisted inspiration to a desperate military officer proving the inaccuracy of the old saying that there are no dumb ideas. 5 pages - pdf, format

Code INT. MILITARY OFFICE BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY The good idea fairy (GIF) "trips" down a hallway, swinging a club badly disguised as a wand. Nobody notices as she spins and smiles at passersbys.

I don't know what you mean by 'trips'. Do you mean skips? To trip within this context is to fall over where I come from. Maybe she's tripping then catching herself repetitively? Passersby doesn't need an s on the end as it is already plural. It should also be in uppercase.

Code INT. OFFICE - DAY COL SHELBY sits at his desk, reviewing documents.

Is this the type of office that has multiple desks or is it specifically Col's office?

The punchline fell flat for me. It's supposed to be the good idea fairy, not the bad idea fairy. Also if the guy always has bad ideas that has everyone running for the hills, why is he still in the job?

I think this could work but it needs changing up a lot in my opinion... that you have every right to completely discard. Comedy is subjective.

This one fell pretty flat for me.  I remember seeing a movie about the development of an Army tank where the design was constantly changed because everyone made 'improvements' in it.  In the end, the tank was a failure.

This script is kind of like that except you cut out everything but the first and last page.  You need to flesh this out to make it intersting for people.


Phil

Hi Ian,

"The Good Idea Fairy provides inspiration to a military officer that shows just how new weapons are developed "

If I didn't know this script was only 3 pages long I would have stopped right there and left this script alone. Why? It's badly written and if the tagline is badly written it suggests the script is badly written. Also, as has been pointed out, it should be Bad Idea Fairy because the guy comes up with bad ideas and the script name is 'Where Bad Ideas Come From'.

As it was the rest of the script had humorous charm. Yes there are typos and errors, plus you throw in aspects of a shooting script in there; all of which is bad. But I like the idea of the  fairy, it was funny they way it inspired ideas and the thought of a Subplank made me smile.

This does feel more like a sketch than a script but it does seem to have potential. I think you could flesh this out and turn it into a decent, funny story.

You have a knack for comic imagery, you just need to learn how to write it better as a screenplay. This will all come with reading scripts and screenwriting books plus lots of writing practice so keep on writing.

All the best,

Mark

Hi, Ian.

It reads like a sketch. I wouldn't understand what happened if I watched it. A woman hits a guy on the head with a club. He has an idea, they test the idea. -I wouldn't know it's a good idea fairy.
You started with GIF and I thought it's about her, but it's about other guys. You could start with your main guy and his problem I think.

I have no idea what the heck is going on in this story...

As a surreal sketch this could work, possibly as a comment on the military complex, but I think it needs expanding to stand as a full script.

Anthony

Wow. Thank you all for taking time to look this over. As several of you surmised, it is a script for a skit. From several comments, it is also too narrowly focused on one target audience... people with a military background. The "good idea fairy" is a sarcastic name among people in the US military for a character which inspires dumb ideas in leadership that are wasteful of time and money. I see I have work to do.

As for comments, I will just go down the list.

Dustin,

In this context, "trips" was intended to mean "...to dance or walk with light, quick steps." The image I had in mind reminded me of Carol Kane as the Ghost of Christmas Present in the movie "Scrooged". As for passersbys... yep, like brothers-in-law. Typo. Should be COL SHELBY'S OFFICE. As for an incompetent leaders, you'd be surprised how many stay on the job and retire at high rank... unfortunately. As for comedy being subjective, you nailed that observation. Not only is there frequently a difference in culture, but male/female perspectives at times, military/civilian, education level, and a whole range of factors. Definitely hard to make it widely appealing.

Phil,

You are probably referring to "Pentagon Wars" with Kelsey Grammer. Sadly, it gives some hints at how egos and greed can play into the procurement process. The intent was to film this as a short skit, but obviously it needs work.

Mark,

The "Bad" idea fairy is a name that few people outside of the US military would instantly recognize as sarcasm. I see that the target audience is too narrow. As for the rest of your comment, thank you for the encouragement. Aside from military service in the past, I have a background in academic and technical writing. I was interested in screenplays for years and began reading everything I could get my hands on starting back in the early 2000s. I bought Final Draft in 2002 to practice writing. I switched to MovieMagic Screenwriter in 2012. I definitely prefer the latter software. Yep. Practice. Practice. Practice.

Ms. Khamanna,

You are correct, it is a sketch. You also lit a spark of inspiration for me, so thank you. I remember years ago hearing stories about how we and the Soviets experimented in the 1960s with airdropping tanks onto the battlefield. The only problem was that a 70 ton hunk of metal frequently became a dirt dart that left a nice crater. That problem, or something similar, can be the catalyst. I hope it isn't insulting when I say you were my muse for that one. I apologize if it was.

TomV,

Don't feel bad. You weren't the only one scratching your head.

Anthony,

That was my intent, but as I think everyone would agree, it needs more work.

Once again, thank you all for your time and comments. They are appreciated.

Ian

Quoted from Iancou I remember years ago hearing stories about how we and the Soviets experimented in the 1960s with airdropping tanks onto the battlefield. The only problem was that a 70 ton hunk of metal frequently became a dirt dart that left a nice crater. That problem, or something similar, can be the catalyst.

Surely they wouldn't have actually needed to drop the tanks to figure that out?

I've googled and I found that they do indeed air drop tanks, the Scorpion is easily parachuted to the ground as it weighs only 16000lbs. Perhaps they would have had some things go wrong while testing that out.

You would be surprised what militaries attempt in the name of "proof-of-concept." They also test different parachute systems, internal load configurations, etc. As for the Scorpion, it was more of a tracked reconnaissance vehicle than a tank in the strictest sense, but man was it fast! I digress.

So, I have my work cut out for me. Thanks again, Dustin.

Here's the update to the script that contains more backstory and motivation behind the ending. Several of you really impressed upon me the need for clarity and providing more info for context. Thanks for the pointers and suggestions.

Ian

Ian

“Shelby hurriedly scribbles on a piece of paper and
holds it up -- there are two stars. Duhl's eyes bug out.”

- Is this stars thing a military reference? Either way, I don’t understand their significance or why Duhl’s eye “bug out” at them.

“sag as collapses into his chair”

- Missing “he” after “as”

Airdropping tanks! Now that would be worth seeing, purely in an exhibition scenario of course.

I like the back and forth between Shelby and Duhl as they both desperately scramble to think up of some new innovation.

The emergence of the good idea fairy was a welcome bit of weird frivolity and flight of fancy within a military setting of all places but the resulting “bad idea” of the tank/plane/submarine hybrid was lame…and not in the intended so-bad-its-funny way, it was just silly, in my opinion.

Then again, what was I to expect given the script’s title?

Still, overall this was a letdown since I enjoyed the frantic Shelby and Duhl scene in the first couple of pages.

Col.

Col,

Yep, I need to rein in the militarese so more people understand the story. As for the rest, it was a script that I struggled to revise. I intended to show how bad ideas take on a life of their own (especially in the military) and result in really bad outcomes. Oh well, back to the drawing board. Thanks for the review.

Ian