Look Who's Walking by Ryan Adam (MidnightGiant) - Comedy - The story about three friends who's brotherhood extends after death as they join the ranks of the undead.   133 pages - pdf, format

Just realized I did a 'change all' on two of the character's names and two zombies share the same names as humans at the end.  So if you can ignore that.  Also, there is a climax to the human pov and it shows how they all die as humans.  But it didn't have the impact i thought.. so i erased it for now.

Hi Ryan,

Right off the bat you have two things working against you - and that's before anyone has even opened your script.

1. The title. Look Who's Talking was a fairly big comedy hit back in the late 1980s. Obviously the plots are widely different but using an existing title is generally not good.

EDIT:

Quoted Text Ryan's script is called look who's walking not look who's talking

Hahaha - well that was embarrasing. Guess the mind sees what the mind wanna see  

2. 133 pages. A good comedy will come in at less than 100 pages (most likely around 90 pages or so). So immediately I know that I will be reading a script that is over 40 pages too long. And that's, like, not gonna happen.

Then I opened up you script. Ouch. You start of with a title page (from FD I can see) that puts you even further behind on points and it makes it pretty damn dificult to take you serious. An easy fix though.

Your format is in need of some serious help, I'm talking life saving CPR here. Judging by you format alone, most people here will open up your script and think "Jeez, this guy has never read a script before".

Read scripts and learn the format. There are plenty of books out there that can help you as well. You can also check out this link right here on SS.

All the best to you.
Rob

Everything he said, but Ryan's script is called look who's walking not look who's talking. I thought the title was pretty clever. Even if the mentioned film inspired his title I don't really see the big deal. That movie sucked anyway.