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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Super Foot Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 23rd, 2015, 5:47pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Super Foot by Christine Whitlock - Short, Comedy - Bravery has its physical challenges. Back to work with a broken foot, Dave must rescue his love interest from the office bully. 3 pages - pdf, format


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Jean-Pierre Chapoteau
Posted: January 23rd, 2015, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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I write.

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Why do they keep saying his name? Are they being sarcastic?

Fade out and the end.

You're either a very skilled writer or you need some work. I honestly  have no idea. Clearly you should know saying someone's name every time you speak to them is absolutely is insane, but this may have been intentional.

The story was actually solid. I got it. If it were given to a good director it would be a decent flick.

It's not my type of comedy, and I want to hate it, but I can't. Good job.  


I DON'T READ REVIEWS BEFORE I REVIEW!!
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TonyDionisio
Posted: January 23rd, 2015, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
Been Around


Damnit, get to the point!

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Christine.,

This was so unconventional that I found myself laughing, errors aside,  of course.  Thanks for that.


Pg. 1
I would lose the term 'foot cast'  'a cast on his right foot'  reads better.

So who knocked on the door that 'startled them all'???

Try not to use' wheels' more than once in a sentence.

Funny  title.

Tony.
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