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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Package Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 25th, 2015, 11:55am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Package by Cindy Mackey - Short, Comedy - Terry works at "Mail Etcetera," a packaging store known for its excellent service and wrapping expertise.  But when a customer comes in with an unconventional item to wrap and ship, Terry must use all his facilities (with the exception of his mind) to complete the task. 14 pages - pdf, format


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Lightfoot
Posted: January 25th, 2015, 1:34pm Report to Moderator
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Your logline needs a good trimming,  you can just simply say... After a packaging company is sent an unconventional item. An employee, Terry,  must maintain the company's excellence in service.

Oh...this is mainly in play format, don't really know the correct formatting for plays, but I think they would have ACT I, SCENE 1 sort of thing...right? Instead the screenplay's  INT. PACKAGING STORE - DAY.

Regardless I read the whole thing and very much liked it. This is something Harry and Lloyd from Dumb & Dumber would certainly do.

Wish I could give you more, I just don't know the ins and outs of a play script.
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