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  Author    Piper Creek  (currently 8248 views)
Don
Posted: March 6th, 2015, 10:46pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Piper Creek by Andy Best - Horror, Slasher - A classic style slasher. Jessica lives in town rocked by a social media rape case and a sports team ban. As the first big party since the case approaches, can she survive a volatile atmosphere and a misogynist revenge killer?  86 pages - pdf, format


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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  March 13th, 2015, 5:21pm
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Andy Best
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 12:31am Report to Moderator
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I'm Andy, the writer. Letting you all know that I'm on the boards and would love to exchange reviews, read scripts and get feedback. Here is fine, e-mail is fine too.


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Dreamscale
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 9:38am Report to Moderator
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Welcome aboard, Andy.  I see you already read and commented on another script, which is great to see.  It's a Quid Pro Quo world here, and the more you give out, the more you'll get back.

I gave your script a shot, and read your opening, but started skimming near the end.

Here are my thoughts and recommendations...

At 12 pages, your intro is way too long.  It's highly unlikely it would last more than 7 or 8 minutes of film time, nor should it.  Bottom line is that it's way overwritten, with way too much unnecessary detail.

Although your writing overall seems pretty good, you have numeruos issues you'll need to work on.

You use the verb "is" way, WAY too much.  In screenwriting, sentences with "is" don't carry the power you're after.  Use this sparingly at most, never, if possible.

Learn how to use and format P.O.V. shots.  It's quite simple, actually, but still hard to pull off correctly.  It's also something that should be used sparingly, and only when it adds to the script (which it easily can here, as Slashers and creatures features are where it works best), but also understand when you do this, you're attempting to direct the shot, and that's not the Spec Writer's job.

Stay away from using "we see" and "we hear".  They are complete wastes of space, and IMO, come off very amateur.  There are so many ways to write the lines without using these, and you'll find your script will read so much better.  If there's a time there's no getting around it, no big deal, but you can't bludgeon us over the head with this over and over.

Finally, understand exactly what you're after, including tone, rating, and the audience you're after.  I'm not saying you're not aware of this, but as a lover of Slasher and horror movies, for me, you've committed numerous sins in your opening scene and it's unlikely I'd watch any further, if this were a film.

Slasher fans want T & A, a hard R rating, and graphic violence.  Your opening is 12 pages and you have 2 kills (in theory), but you show us almost nothing.  Other than a few slashes, it's all implied.  Same with the nudity and sex - it appears to be there, but we don't see anything.  Basically, you've got an R rating already, but nothing that anyone wants to see.

In Sebastian, you've thrown in the classic and cliched virgin dude who somehow has  a babe to himself and gets a nice BJ and who knows what would have followed if not for our Hulking Man who ruins it for him.  I understand how cliche and goofy most Slaher films are, but understand what killed them and sent them DTV.  I think you can do alot better than this setup.

Hopefully, this doesn't come across as harsh, as I actually want to help.  If you have questions on anything I brought up, let me know and I'll try and provide more detail.

I look forward to seeing you around Simply Scripts. It's a great place to learn, read, and also help others.

Take care, bro.    
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Andy Best
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 9:56am Report to Moderator
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Hi Dreamscale.

Don't worry about being harsh, no problem. Thanks for posting on my script, it's very nice of you to give your time. It's great to get all points of view.

I'm also a big fan of horror, especially 80s slashers which I grew up with, although most of them, if they started with one at all, would be pretty bad in screenplay form.

The opening's style, length and content is based on previous examples and conventions from a bunch of those movies, although I have my own take. That's not me dismissing your crit though, I will go back and re-read the opening with what you said in mind.

The only point I don't think I understand is using "is" too much. You can't mean skipping the verb 'to be' so I don't think I know what you mean there. I'll check the 'we sees' yeah. As for the idea of 'T&A' there's something a bit different going in the screenplay on that count ... mind you, that doesn't mean anything if you couldn't make it there without skipping.

By the way, do you have a current script you'd like me to look at? I'll click through your profile and check.

Thanks again.


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Dreamscale
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 10:57am Report to Moderator
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Andy, if you'd like to read something of mine, I could send you the latest version through E-mail.

Are you looking for a feature or a short?

Let me know and I'll shoot you some over.

In terms of your question about using "is" and "to be", I mean exactly what I said.  "is" is a very weak verb.  It does not show action.  It is often passive.  It reads as if you're merely stating facts.  You'll want to write as visually as you can, so your readers can literally visualize what it is you're trying to present.

Does that make sense?

Obviously, all writing will contain sentences with "is", but you want to refrain as much as you can.  Reread your opening and count how many sentences are of this variety.

Take care.
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Anon
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 11:44am Report to Moderator
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On the 'is' thing -

Sitting in the driver’s seat is SEBASTIAN PAOLINO. He is college age with a baby face. He is slim and wears a tight fitting button up shirt.

Or

SEBASTIAN PAOLINO sits in the driver's seat. College age, baby faced and slim. He wears a tight fitting button up shirt.

"Is" is sometimes redundant and losing it can result in a snappier and more 'present tense' screenplay style. Although I've read a bit of your script and there's FAR WORSE offenders out there. Your style is still a good read for me. But slasher pics aren't my thing, so that's as far as I'll go with this one I'm afraid. Good luck with it!
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Andy Best
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 12:59pm Report to Moderator
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Ah, I got it. Thanks guys.

Dreamscale, would love to, use e-mail. Mine's on here and on the cover of the script.


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Dreamscale
Posted: March 10th, 2015, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Andy Best
Ah, I got it. Thanks guys.Dreamscale, would love to, use e-mail. Mine's on here and on the cover of the script.



OK, will do...
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Andy Best
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By the way guys, and anyone else reviewing it. I'm currently following the advice and culling/changing all the passive language and redundancies. Anyone reading the original here, I'd still love as much thoughts as you have. and I'll read a full length from anyone who posts or mails.

What's the etiquette here if I want to eventually replace the original draft with the one reflecting the advice? Don't want to make the earlier posts look off.

Thanks again, everyone who took the time to read a bit.

Alexthewebb, I know you only looked at the opening, but I'll review a short if you have one. Hit me up.


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Heretic
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Had time for the first 20-ish. Will return. If my tone gets prescriptive at points, it's only for efficiency's sake! I know no less or more than the next person.

Page 3: Dialogue’s good, but I wonder if some of the front end couldn’t be skipped without losing too much. It might be worth just keeping it visual – he’s super nervous, goes for the beer as a last resort, she grabs his arm. The interesting conflict is over the comment, so it might be worth just opening with that. Plus, the line’s so good – did Gina tell you what Brett said – that it’d make for a more unique and less expected opener than the usual makeout point nervousness. Or, in other words, it’s just a lot of talking here that could and probably should be cut down.

Page 4: Again, less dialogue here would be more engaging. What are we doing? She slips her skirt off – whoa. No need to let us know that it’s about swimming right away. This is a way more, er, pregnant moment if she just strips and expects him to do the same. Let him sweat a little. This will also help (increase) our irritation at Sebastian’s continued proposed safety precautions later down the page – what starts as a quiet moment is ruined by his nervous questions – but let them have the moment!

Page 5: Might be worth a new slug for the POV. Had to read this twice before I understood that we were cutting away-ish.

Page 6: To me, the meat of this scene is the fact that she hasn’t done this before. Dreamed about it because of Thoreau – relevant. Witty banter about Thoreau – less relevant. I mention in particular because we are spending a LOT of time on a very traditional slasher opening. The characters are fine and the feminization of Sebastian is a fun little bend in the genre, but this is a genre that has been parodied and innovated endlessly and at the end of the day, all that’s keeping us going is a genre trick from 1974. I’d hurry through this stuff.

Page 10: Just a personal note, but I’m not a fan of the gun…so far, anyway. It’s an unusual element for the typically brute slasher, but it hasn’t done anything very interesting here yet. The threat of the silenced pistol typically signifies a quick and clean death in film, and it’s working here against the messy, blunt threat of the other weapons. In my head, anyway.

Page 12: A very fun and reasonably unique first sequence marred somewhat by an overabundance of dialogue. Sets the stage for something that is both classical and self-aware. I’m looking forward to this, at this point. I do stand by my initial thought that we’re a bit long in getting to what makes this unique, too – the slasher POV is fun but not as interesting as the first appearance (and subsequent discrimination) of the killer. Maybe I am a fan of the gun, now seeing how things play out.
“The music fades…” Might be worth signaling this with a “NOTE:” so that we’re clear it’s a production note. Just for clarity.

Page 13: I’m missing what happens in this beat, a little bit. They stop talking and look at her sourly when she enters? I’m assuming that we’re establishing that the men of this town dislike her, or perhaps that there’s a general gender divide. I’m just not quite clear, with this specific beat, if what’s happening is that they’re talking, she enters, they stop talking, she leaves, they start talking again. Is that right?

Page 16: The reiteration of, er, rape apologist views here goes on a little long. It’s played pretty straight, so there’s not much fun to be had in a satirical sense, but the responses don’t have much character, so there’s not much elsewhere, either. They feel a bit like mouthpieces, here – I suppose one might argue they function as mouthpieces in their world, too, but it just feels a little bland here.
Page 19: Mr. Hitchens, on the other hand, functions quite comfortably as satire, but it’s a little unmodulated. I think this scene might be more fun if, rather than opening at ten with “feminazis” and continuing at ten, you allowed us to remain a little ambivalent to him here…give us some suspense as to exactly how much of a shithead he is. “Full-raped” will function as a perfect beat if you just leave room to build to it.
Less interested in the reiteration of the Boys’ harassment. The important point being made, I think, is the continuity of culture between the adults in the store and the boys at school. If you nail that parallel – and I’d suggest making it stronger by, perhaps, using a parallel line, or a visual conflation of some sort – then it should be all you need to create the aggressive patriarchal environment that’s being built here. If it goes too strong – and it does, right now, in my opinion – it’ll feel like a caricature not of the individuals, but of the societal construct, and that’ll shut things down. Note, for instance, the relative subtlety of All the Boys Love Mandy Lane versus the aggressive thematization in Girls Against Boys. Both enjoyable films, but yours here (so far) seems closer in spirit to the former while (to my eye) running a risk of being closer in presentation to the latter.
Page 22: Note per the above that the school scenes – now that they are leaving the location – have had very little plot purpose but very great (I am arguing, too great) thematic purpose.

Page 23: Linda’s story in particular bugs me. I get the desire to establish pervasiveness, here, but at the same time, it’d be nice to get to see these people relax. That is, women alone together talking about nothing about patriarchy still fails the Bechdel Test in my books, haha. I think the scene would be more interesting if Sebastian was the inciting beat for the conversation to turn to nastiness.

Name's Chris, by the way. Nice to meet you.
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medstudent
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Andy,
Please take my review as you wish. I am only one opinion.

Spoilers********





Piper Creek, a modern day take on a slasher film that attempts to incorporate more recent social issues but unfortunately gets bogged down in its own social mud. Slasher films can be a difficult genre to get right. Either you're too formulaic or you don't stick with the genre close enough. Either way, it is difficult to get these things just right.

The film starts out with a bang though it relies too much on this opening kill to propel the story up into and through the second act. In a slasher film, the second act should be just that, the killer trying to kill and the "victims" trying to stay alive. This didn't occur. Instead we follow a group of young college kids around town, watching them do uninteresting things. The killer doesn't even come around until almost page 60. This is too long. There needs to be more of a presence. The killer needs to be "right around the corner". This is what your suspense should be built upon. As is, you have nothing to show us during the second act. In fact, you are still trying to build and introduce the characters to your audience. This should be done within the first few pages. I'll use eldave1's script, "The Beginning of The End, And The End" because it is fresh in my mind. In the first few pages, we know that we are dealing with a woman who is a romantic at heart, yet has some doubt about who she is. We see this with a simple interaction between her sitting in a car, seeing other pedestrians around her and her reactions to them. With your rewrite, you should concentrate on the second act being a cat and mouse between the killer and one or more characters.

The tone (and purpose) of the script was all over the place. At times it felt like a sermon on women's rights, other times (very briefly) it was a slasher film. At times, I felt knee deep in overly-preachy dialogue and had to force myself to keep reading. I think trying to be so in-your-face with a message weighed the piece down and didn't allow it to get off the ground. Along the same lines, I feel you should have shown instead of giving us across-the-table dialogue. It's a visual medium. SHOW us something. I want to see the characters live out their expectations, their beliefs. I don't want to hear them speak about it.

One exercise that I have begun doing when I write is when I place two characters in a scene, I think about what each one wants to accomplish. Every person (in a film) has a motive, something they want or need. The other character in the scene will likely have their own desires. Hence, this drives their actions and conversations, within that scene. One may want to get in bed with the other character while the other needs information on a disappearance. Each will try to push the conversation to get what they want. I'll use Silver Linings Playbook (don't know why I've been referencing this film?). When the two characters are in the diner for the first time, the girl wants to sleep with the guy and the guy just wants to get the hell out of there. Their actions, dialogue are centered around their own personal needs and wants. The conversation isn't a reciprocal one. They aren't really listening to the other person. Each is thinking... "what do I need to say or do to get what I want?". As is, your characters walk into a scene one way, and leave the exact same way, with the same feelings, thoughts, etc.

The pace and suspense should build throughout the second act util the climax. There isn't any build here. Just scenes of kids being kids. A key flaw in this piece. The main reason for this is that none of the characters had a clearly defined goal. They spoke about a lot of heavy things going on around town but there was nothing we could grab onto. Root for. Jessica (or another character) needs to have a clearly defined goal early on. Obviously, in this case, that should be trying to find Dani or her killer. This should drive her actions, conversations, etc.

CHARACTERS:
As I said, we don't get a sense of who our protagonist is really. In the opening sequence, we see her (Jessica) walking around though she does nothing of significance that demonstrates who this person is. In fact, we know your characters superficially, but we don't really know ANY of them. What makes them tick? What belief would they die for? The only exception is Jessica's younger sister. I really liked her and she came alive on the page. I wanted to see more of her. The rest of the characters I could care less about.

Is there a reason all your women are "bad-asses" and all your male characters are douches?

I didn't like anyone so I didn't care if they lived or died. The only exception is Jessica's sister. I would have liked her to be the killer! No film has a young, teenage fem-nazi as the killer.

All in all, the story never got off the ground and felt flat most of the way through. While the technical writing was fine, the story telling needs to be re-worked.

Specific thoughts:
PG4 I thought Dani wanted to "take it slow"?
PG9 What an odd looking killer. I'm trying to wrap my head around this image. Why not kill the guy initially? I like character descriptions less specific. I don't care about what shirt someone is wearing. No one will ever remember this while reading.

Strange to have "coffee and doughnuts" being served in a hardware store?

PG18 Wouldn't call kids reading novels a "typical high school class"
PG20 I wann see her play!
PG24 Are all guys dicks in this town?
PG26 Why suddenly bring up Dani's disappearance to a random guy? Not small talk I'd be leading with.  If the point is to show the "word is out" that Dani was missing, this would be better as a visual. Show a brief image of someone hanging a missing person's sign around campus.
PG27 Use a parenthetical to show him addressing Nadi and Jessica.
PG29-30 Best character so far with the best dialogue. I like this Zoe girl.
PG 35 I feel like most of the dialogue is on-the-nose and forced.
PG 38 Find a way to say this better. "...on the far side and Nadi."
PG 44 Good girl. I feel like she should be our protagonist.
PG 45 Again, the description of the party house is awkward. Is it isolated and surrounded by trees? Need to be more economical with your words.
Still don't get our killer. Drill...machete...and gun? All good killers have a preferred method. Think Jason, Texas Chain Saw.
PG 46 Many character's actions are superfluous. Terry and doorman's interaction for instance.
PG 50 Would these girls really be that consumed by some asshole's behavior on the internet? Why such interest? I don't get it.
As is, there is no second act. If this is a story about a killer on the loose, then he/she needs to be more present during the second act.
PG 58 Jeeze. All the guys are so sensitive, weak and have absolutely no charm. No way Nandi would fall for a guy like that.
PG 62 Why would the killer expose himself to the rest of the partygoers? He's way outnumbered. Why is the whole party not in chaos right now?
PG 64 Again, your male characters are all weak, scared. Was this intentional?
PG 65 So you have a house full of college kids, and none are running or screaming for their lives? Screaming to get the hell out of there? There'd be chaos right now.
PG 65 I don't picture Jessica as being tough. this was never set up in the beginning. She can't be scared to go to a party, then get a bat to go after some crazed lunatic killer who has killed several people!
PG 68 She's right, bad time to be discussing this.
PG 73 WTF? Sebastian with his face gone, has time to fondle breasts?
PG 74 Why is Jessica hitting random guys with the bat? Shouldn't she be asking for help?
PG 82 Again, I don't buy a girl is going to stand and face this guy. Especially one like Jessica.
PG 84 I don't get it? Why kill everyone? Not just the women?

While I thought the pieces were floating around, they were not put together well. This has the potential to be a good slasher film.

I hope this didn't come off the wrong way. I want to give honest feedback when I read. This can be the most helpful, though sometimes difficult. Good luck with this, Andy. I'd be happy to read another draft when you are done.

Best,
Joseph



Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
medstudent  -  March 11th, 2015, 10:34pm
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Andy Best
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Hey Chris and Joseph.

No need to apologize, but very nice to do so anyway. It's tough giving, and taking proper, rigorous criticism. I'm up for it, no worries.

Thank you very much, both you guys, for long detailed feedback. Amazing and way more than I'd expect. I've had a look at one of Joseph's scripts, Chris, would you like to point me at one of yours? It's the least I could do.

Some of the points mentioned are very much by design, regardless, the more meta side. However, a lot of both your points reflect some earlier crit too, and I'm working on it at the mo. I'm going through, replacing the passive action lines with simple present tense, tighter lines. I'm cutting a lot of redundant descriptors and doing the POVs properly and cleanly.

I hope that after this cull, it will read faster and more dynamic in general, which may also alleviate some of the other points you guys mention.

Some of it stays, it should be a little dialogue heavy and hit you over the head, also a little slow burn, to prepare for the third act bloodbath. Football pads on the killer and pervasive douchey guys and rape-apology BS must stay too, for Jessica to symbolically bludgeon them at the end.

My mass cull is freeing up at least 4 pages (i'm taking this feedback seriously), so could get an extra scene or two in there to address some other stuff you both mention.

This is great.

Thanks everyone.



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Heretic
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I don't have any scripts I need reviewed at the moment, but if you'd consider checking out our movies (link in sig) and maybe giving us a comment/like/subscribe, that'd be awesome!

Continuing!

Page 32: The Zoe/Lisa/Terry scene is super boring until the argument about Jay. The scene has no plot purpose and feels by far the most didactic yet. "9-1-1 is a joke" - "Protection" - *Switchblade* says way more and is way more interesting than the rest of this scene.

Page 39: The stuff at Piper Creek is really good. The effectiveness of these depictions of character dynamics, despite their (relative) subtlety, makes it all the more clear that a lot of the first act goes overboard in explicating the script's perspective.

Page 45: I like the defeat of the generic male gaze here -- especially the hand reaching out and having its fingers slashed -- but it's a little undercut by the fact that we don't know Jay very well. I wonder if there's an opportunity to build up the relationship, or even just Jay, a little bit more. The more we are surprised by, but invested in, this reveal of Jay's character, the more effectively the conflation of his gaze with the genre killer's gaze will be, I think. That is, if we understand him more multi-dimensionally ahead of time, the full reveal of his personality here, combined with the POV trick, will land more heavily.

Page 55: See, the fight between Jessica and Terry is an engaging way of exploring the script's main ideas because it's fully integrated with the plot and character arcs. Jessica wants to leave the party, Terry wants to stay; Jessica wants to reject the status quo, Terry wants to maintain it. The scene appeals to its issues, but it's also a fight between two people in a relationship who want very different things. This is the sort of unity -- of plot, character, theme -- that is lacking from many of the earlier discussions. Here, finally, the political is personal.

Page 65: Wait, did they hide safe in the bathroom and leave Halter Girl out in the bedroom? They should help her.

Page 66: Phil's stand is well done. It might be cool if he called for help, like to another guy hiding under a table nearby or whatever -- a guy that could help but runs away instead.
There have been a few small moments of dialogue that bump me for sounding, er, mature? One example is here, when Jessica says "The guy fired on us." I think earlier, someone said "fucking about" or something like that -- should have noted it. In any case, just a couple stiff lines here and there that are a bit of a bump.

Page 69: So I see why Halter Girl was left on the bed -- for these images -- but I still think it doesn't work to have Jessica and Linda go right past her, lock themselves safely in the bathroom, and leave her to die.

Page 77: The Zoe scene here works well for me (and I was wondering about her!) due to its sort of absurdist bent. There's a lot more (dark) humour here than in the first act scenes, which I think makes it work a lot better. It keeps us off-balanced and engaged.

Thoughts:

So I'm reasonably on board here, I just think this thing needs to lose most of the dialogue of the sort that people will call "preachy." It's a visual medium, and the "small" visual moments -- like grown men checking out Jessica's rear at the start -- will say way more than the dialogue ever can, in way less time, with way more effect (and affect!). I suspect almost all readers, regardless of their stances, will agree on this point. I'm a feminist and just found myself a little bit bored by the endless theoretical/abstract talk; those less sympathetic to the script's position are more likely to just be put off altogether, I think. The script points outside itself a lot -- most notably to Steubenville and the sorts of sentiments that became prominent in the discourse around Steubenville -- but things don't have much force in movies unless they have a visual presence. It's fine that this is a small town in the wake of a Steubenville-type case, but this needs to be integrated into the actual plot a little bit better. I've pointed out above that the way these issues drive a wedge between Jessica and Terry is well handled; we need more, I think, like that. Scripts like Lucky McKee's The Woman or All Cheerleaders Die are (potentially) effective because they depict, on screen, central to the plot, their broader or theoretical concerns. I'm not saying that Piper Creek should be as, er, thematically abstruse as The Woman -- it's good that the characters are feminists who talk about feminism. But the fact that they're feminists talking about feminism isn't interesting -- the fact that they're feminists talking about feminism AND that the issues they discuss are directly present in the parts of their lives that are central to the plot -- that's interesting. If that makes sense.

In a simpler and similar vein, I don't mind that the script is talky -- I'm a Before Midnight guy -- but I do mind when that talking seems didactic. Sometimes here, it feels as though the characters are talking about feminism not because they want to, but because the writer wants them to. Action, plot, should incite these discussions. This is, for example, why I thought the conversation should turn serious in the bar only after the women saw Sebastian -- he incites that conversation. Before, they were talking so free and loose when they weren't discussing patriarchy, and it felt so placed when they were.

The end of Sebastian was pretty hilarious, but, like Joseph above, I had trouble believing Nandi would bother to spend time with him. I get that he's not threatening, it's just that he's also not interesting at all. It'd be nice to see him pick up on some key thing about her -- to see what might have been attractive about him. We accept it at the start, with Dani, but with Nandi it was not as convincing, because we've seen their (nonexistent) courtship.

The revelation of Linda's past with Terry didn't land quite as well as it should have -- this is the key sort of final beat in the arc of Jessica being mistreated. I think what might elevate this scene a bit is if it happens while the Hulking Man is in the room, drilling Halter Girl...that is, if it's a whispered confession that Linda makes because she thinks they're about to die that very second.

Jessica didn't feel quite fully dimensional to me. She's passive and viewed a lot more than anything in the first half of the script, which fits the script's purposes but doesn't make her all that interesting. There's a lot of potential in the relationship between her and Terry, and her sense that maybe it's not quite right, but right now, on the page, I'm not finding her all that interesting. This is part of why I was excited when the women were talking in the bar, and sad that it turned immediately to the script's main concerns -- I just wanted to get to know Jessica. Specifically, Jessica by herself. The one little scene with her eating and Ms. Chen kicking her out made me want more. We constantly see how she's treated -- it would be cool to get more of her alone, and see how she treats herself.

I gotta run now but may have more thoughts later.
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Stumpzian
Posted: March 12th, 2015, 5:54pm Report to Moderator
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God almighty. You'd think this script was "Finnegan's Wake," given the voluminous analysis/comments.

This not a knock on "Piper Creek." I read enough ( 20 pages or so) to know Andy has talent.

But, Jeeze, people are going on and on and on with their own personal opinions about this and that, page by page, pontificating. Lord!

Too much feedback is just that -- too much. Especially if you're new to SS. Andy's been a member for, what,
four days? Now, I suppose he may well say, "No, it's fine, I appreciate the reading, the ideas, the valuable suggestions. I welcome criticism."

But to Andy, I say,  trust your instincts.  Some of  what you are reading is show-off analysis.

All of which raises the issue of feedback in general. What do individual writers want from feedback?

Henry







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Heretic
Posted: March 12th, 2015, 6:12pm Report to Moderator
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^ My review of Finnegan's Wake: probably brilliant, definitely awful to read.

I'll be sure to be similarly terse and bland should I ever come to review one of your scripts, Henry.
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