Thor: God of Thunder by Robert Newton - Action, Superhero - Young Thor, King Thor and Thor the Avenger wage a battle against Gorr, the God Butcher through past, present and future in an attempt to save all of divinity from total annihilation by his diabolical construct. 134 pages - pdf, format

i think this has been done, and well.

Quoted from cloroxmartini i think this has been done, and well.

Well, well, well...

Where you been CM?

The site hasn't been the same without you.

Good to see you back.

Shawn.....><

134 pages total Thor story. 13 pages in and no one gets smashed with a hammer? Meh.

Tony.

Yeah, I'm a huge comic book fan (marvel mostly, mostly) and I got kinda confused how 3 Thors are gonna team up. I'm about 40 pages in and still kinda confused. Maybe because the dialogue is so out there. First Thor is supposed to be of Norse decent, but he's from outer space. He speaks English.  Well, kind of.

Thor just doesn't do it for me, I guess.

I'll finish the story, but it really drags.

Quoted from Ledbetter Well, well, well... Where you been CM? The site hasn't been the same without you. Good to see you back. Shawn.....><

Overseas and found some time on my hands

If anyone reads past the first few pages and cares to comment, feedback is welcome. Thanks for taking the time. I can appreciate that it may not have a blazing start but I think it pays off if you can get into it.

Thanks,
Rob.

I read 10 pages and didn't get hooked. The language. Old viking stuff. No humor. Jumping back and forth between millenia. Too much for me.

Quoted from RichardD Yeah, I'm a huge comic book fan (marvel mostly, mostly) and I got kinda confused how 3 Thors are gonna team up. I'm about 40 pages in and still kinda confused.

I read the logline and I figured out that the three Thors are from the past, present and future.

I read some pages and it looks competently written.

I don't see the problem.

I hear ya Dustin, but my thinking is it's all the same Thor. Three of him of different ages team up to fight the same villain. I don't know, you start throwing around time travel, and different ages of the same guy...it just gets confusing. They wouldn't and probably couldn't kill any of them (the same Thor) so what's the point of having three? Might as well have a hundred Thors if that's the logic.

then there's the MJOLNIR. There's only one, but each of the three Thors are wielding their own.

I'm about 60 pages into this script. you should give it a read as well, and see what you think. Just because the description isn't confusing doesn't mean the story can't be. Example: The Matrix.

I don't like time travel stories purely because of the logic involved. It was the one troubling factor with Interstellar too... even now it bugs me why we would need to go to a previous point in time and change anything.

I tried writing a novelette once using the time travel concept and I ended up tying myself up in knots trying to make everything logical.

So, I suppose I see your point.

I am 80 pages into it and I gotta say, not loving it.  You claim that it's based on the stories of Thor, yet, you also have Iron man, mentions of the Avengers and Guardians of the Galaxy and other Marvel references.

Thor the God and Thor in Marvel are very different.  

Not to mention, it would cost you an arm and a leg to use Marvel property.  I'm not saying don't do it, but, if you're gonna do it, why not go all out?

Your all out isn't all out enough.  Young Thor isn't with the others yet, but, I know that is your goal.

Oh, and sorry, but, Gorr's weapon wouldn't allow a human to match the power of a deity.  I bet that you are a gamer too, right?  Here is the problem.  If a person with 25 strength via a girdle of titan strength (old D and D rules), were to arm wrestle a storm giant (also with 25 strength), who would win 100% of the time?

The Titan would.  Why?  He has mass behind him.  Sure, they are equally as strong, but, the human doesn't have the height, mass, or in depth knowledge to use his strength.  So, even if the God Slayer has the powers of a god, he doesn't have the "it" factor to stand toe to toe with even the lowest gods, much less the heavy hitters.  In Marvel's terms, he couldn't beat Mr Hyde, much less Thor, Hulk, etc.  

You should have him do the High Evolutionary arc where he gathers all the most powerful items in space and time.  That might make him almost equal.  Merge him with Korvac and now, you have a villain that is scary.

I will read the rest soon....

Oh, and don't forget, unless I'm mistaken, Thor dies at the hands of the Midgard Serpent.  So, if you do want to follow the God Thor, you have to have a reason why the story changes.


I am not sure if the sound effects that your people make, like page 79  mmprh really works.  

Also, if a being such as the god destroyer has killed that many gods, I believe they'd band together.  Like I said, your big story with Avengers in it simply isn't "big" enough...

I'm on page 120 and Thor is using both hammers.  It might be better if a paradox is created (2 unique items touching or whatever you choose) to create the sort of explosion needed to stop the Godbomb from exploding.

The story wasn't bad, but, it's a pretty hard read.  It can get confusing and all the time travel isn't really tied up at the end.  I'd use the Librarian to alter their memories.  there are so many things that can do that.

Hi There, Daniel C.

Yes, Thor: God of Thunder is based on the story of Thor and and that also includes other references from the Marvel Cinematic Universe such as Iron Man and Guardians of the Galaxy. I'm not quite sure how that's a problem for consistency, continuity or chronology though.

Gorr's weapon in the story, All-Black the Necrosword does indeed give him not only power of a deity but the power to defeat them. I'm not familiar with girdles of giant strength or wrestling storm giants and what 25 strength is about or how they are relevant to the story.

Yes, towards the end of the script Thor the Avenger has the opportunity to wield two Mjolnirs simultaneously thanks to the presence of King Thor at the same time. Although young Thor was also present, he had not yet become worthy enough to wield Mjolnir at that point in his life and was relegated to using his axe, Jarnbjorn instead. This is major plot device for the third act.

Sorry that you found it a hard read but thanks for taking the time to give it a go. Let me know if you finished it.

Regards,
Rob.

Hey Rob,
    Yep, I did finish it.  When  I first thought to read it, I thought it was just the base Thor Legend.  That said, I didn't expect to see Marvel's influence at all.  I hate using other people's work b/c you'd have to get permission to use everyone you named, and Marvel won't give u that for free, so, you won't be able to market it to anyone.

Also, I didn't care for how piss poor you made the other gods.  I can see the god of wine and laughter cowering in fear, I can't see any primordial being intimidated.

The point about the titan strength on a human vs an actual titan was an allegory.  If I walk outside and pick up the All black Necrosword, I might gain the powers of a god.  But, IMO, I would lose in a fight with any god.  First off, gods have been around since the dawn of time.  They have been in a zillion more battles then I have.  They have a zillion more times knowledge what their limitations are.  I would have none of that.  I don't think I'd last 5 seconds against the weakest god b/c they are a god, whereas I wield the power of a god.  Thor's hammer is the exception b/c you become Thor.  Perhaps you need to give your necrosword the same ability as Thor's hammer.  

Oh, I assumed you had played or heard of dungeons and dragons.  That is where the 25 came from.  

I also question if 2 Mjionirs can be together time loop wise.  

I'd rather see you drop the Thors and involve other Gods of War from other worlds and their weapons of choice.  I think your story would work better if they team up.  Just my 2 cents.

I just finished a 2 part origins story for my fantasy series "Tales of Sysmer Zelyaeu" and it might be fun to see how someone else deals with abilities and powers.  I will have gods in my story too.

Best of luck to you.
Dan