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Bad Situations (currently 2275 views)
Don
Posted: July 18th, 2015, 7:06pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Bad Situations by Leon Gaitanis - Short, Drama - A call girl convinced a friend to kill a pimp. 56 pages - pdf format
For production consideration - No comments required Bad Situations by Leon Gaitanis - Short - {no logline} 4 pages - pdf, format
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Revision History (4 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don - February 13th, 2022, 1:26pmrevised draft
cloroxmartini
Posted: July 19th, 2015, 11:39am
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EXT.OFFICE BUILDING LATE IN THE DAY We open on the forth floor window of an Architectural firm. Through the window we see JACK (Approx. 40 years old Drafter) working away on the company’s computer, developing construction plans for homes in the outer suburbs of a modern city. BACKGROUND OF JACK IN WORKFORCE - CAN BE IGNORED As usual JACK is behind in his work, tired and worried that his fellow employees will notice the mistakes in his work. He is also quite a slow worker as JACK has never seen the computer as his friend, but more of an enemy This is why I won't read further. You've written a whole lot just to say: INT. ARCHITECT'S OFFICE - DAY JACK, 40, a drafter trying to make partner for the last 20 years, slaves away at his computer. Ask yourself why you wrote all that other stuff...stuff is a nice word. Really, ask. Then answer that question and post your response. I won't judge you, I want to know.
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TonyDionisio
Posted: July 19th, 2015, 12:32pm
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Damnit, get to the point!
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35 page short is tough to get into. I'm guessing 30 of the 35 are overwritten as per above.
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