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Mistakes Happen (currently 752 views)
Don
Posted: July 22nd, 2015, 4:46pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Mistakes Happen by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - A Loser plots to bilk the city out of millions of dollar - pdf, format
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: July 23rd, 2015, 5:59pm
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Hey Richard - owe you a read or sevem
Loved this, the interpleay between the current scene in the park and the flashbacks is well handled imho and the slow realisation of what is happening is great, dark and sad, but great.
So my only couple of niggles...
The news piece that gives him his inspiration seems a little shoe horned, could you get away with no explicit reference?
The very end... why do they shoot him when waving a phone round, but not someone who has a gun and appears to have just shot someone? I think this needs a better rationale.
Good work though, quick read and great concept.
Anthony
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Forgive
Posted: July 23rd, 2015, 7:08pm
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Let The Sky Fall
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RichardR
Posted: July 23rd, 2015, 8:48pm
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Anthony, thanks for the read and the notes. Satisfactory endings are hard.
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