SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 5:05pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  He's A Dog Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 3 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    He's A Dog  (currently 1345 views)
Don
Posted: August 20th, 2015, 10:39pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16381
Posts Per Day
1.94
He's A Dog by Cheryl Bealer-Wynton - Comedy - After he accidentally ingests his girlfriend's research project, Jim turns into a dog and finds he must use his canine abilities to keep her out of the clutches of another man. - html, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
ChrisRamsdell
Posted: November 29th, 2015, 11:02am Report to Moderator
New


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
Read the first few pages and I like it.  Good dialogue and funny moments.
My only suggestion is less parenthesis in dialogue.  Actions would read better not in the dialogue but the story.  
I'm a dog guy too and thought your premise was funny.
Good luck.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Erica
Posted: November 29th, 2015, 12:01pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
49
Posts Per Day
0.02
The premises is cute and I think it would make a good family comedy movie.  For me it starts out a little too cliche but maybe that's what makes a good family film.

Like Chris said, you need to move most of your parenthesis into action lines.

The dialogue seems smooth and it flows nice, making it an easy read.  I like that it gets right into the story of changing to a dog.


Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006