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A Killing In The Bronx by Basil Williams - Short, Drama - It's about two teenagers who had a bitter rivalry that carried over into adult lives. One became an Activist in the Community, the other became a Cop. MURDER has its rewards........or so you would think! 38 pages - pdf, format
Sorry Basil but I couldn't get very far with this due to the way it's written and the formatting.
A couple of examples...
INT. JIM (Jimmy) Mc CLAREN. DAY
INT means this is an interior scene, I don't think you are suggesting that this scene takes place inside Jimmy(?)... so this should be something like
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Next...
JIMMY grew up in the Bronx, third generation Irish Catholic. His father (Jack), and grandfather (Joe) were police officers. JIMMY was expected to be a police office one day. The family were well respected in the Bronx.
Remember, in a script your are describing what the audience will see on screen, the passage above isn't something that can be filmed, it would be okay in a novel or short story but isn't right for a screenplay.
This is not a screenplay. It reads more like a treatment where you describe the story complete with background. In a screenplay, you describe what the audience sees and hears with very little exposition about the characters. Remember, movies are visual experiences. Work on the visual and you'll soon have a script.
If you start your logline with: " It's about..." I'm afraid potential 'readers' know enough... You should- (1) learn to write loglines at http://www.logline.it; (2) read a shitload of screenplays; (3) read books about screenplay format and story structure; (4) use a proper script writing program.