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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Action/Adventure Scripts  ›  Robert Manula Must Die! Moderators: bert
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  Author    Robert Manula Must Die!  (currently 1407 views)
Don
Posted: November 11th, 2015, 8:45pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Robert Manula Must Die! by B.J - Action, Adventure - A short and weak police detective must arrest the unknown murderer who's behind the cruel rapes and murders in town to show his wife that he isn't half a man. 98 pages - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  November 25th, 2015, 4:27pm
revised draft
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TonyDionisio
Posted: November 11th, 2015, 9:53pm Report to Moderator
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Damnit, get to the point!

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B.J.,

I would repost this without the red text. There is no need for it. You also need to hone your screenwriting skills. I suggest d/l some scripts and read em.

Tony
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Dreamscale
Posted: November 12th, 2015, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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Wow!  This script should be viewed by as many peeps as possible.  Absolutely hilarious, sorry to say.

Don't miss out on this gem.
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Toby_E
Posted: November 12th, 2015, 10:39am Report to Moderator
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I tried to identify why the red text was used, but I came up short. It's used in a variety of different manners, for action, dialogue, slugs, etc., and it doesn't seem to point towards text added in different drafts, either. (Not that that would be correct for a spec, either.)

If the author appears, I will highlight what else is wrong with the first few pages.


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