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Anger Always Flowers by Justin Murphy - Thriller - A Sicilian immigrant to New Orleans avenges the murder of his Cajun lover at the hands of his former mob boss. 87 pages - pdf, format
EXT. PORT OF NEW ORLEANS DAY GIUSEPPE ”GARY” ANTONINI arrives on a ship to NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA. The young Sicilian immigrant sets foot in this new world. Eyes gaze at him all around. CENSUS TAKER Alright everyone...come on... Each of these immigrants move forward into the immigration office. Gary included. None say a word. INT. IMMIGRATION OFFICE DAY CENSUS TAKER What’s your name? This Census taker ask another immigrant this question. No doubt he has an authoritarian voice. CENSUS TAKER What part of Sicily do you come from? Gary hears his tone. Almost rude. CENSUS TAKER Go to the end of the line...we’ll deal with you later. He watches his fellow Sicilian. Gary sees him move to the end of the line. This man has tears in his eyes
Based on this, the script will be a painful read.
Why? Why does everyone gaze at the young Sicilian? You tell me New Orleans in the action when the scene setting says the same thing.
Gary included. None says a word. No point in this so don't write it.
You have a census taker outside and inside. Maybe I hear the voice of the census taker but don't see him?
The census taker asks another immigrant this question. Who was he asking the question the first time?
Who did the census taker tell to go to the back of the line?
Which man has tears in his eyes?
I applauded that you wrote. However what is written here is not clear to me. Who is the census taker talking to?