All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Numbers Game by Steve Meredith - Short, Drama - In the final hours of a failing Presidential campaign, candidate Kevin Sampson's top aides grapple with their collective defeat. Jack, the campaign's Communications Director, must now decide if he wants to continue pursuing his dream of working in the White House, or give up on that dream to pursue happiness elsewhere. 17 pages - pdf, format
Hey Steve, you have numerous problems going on in your opening passage, which is probably why no one is giving this any attention. Your logline is long and rather dull as well.
Don't go over 4 lines in your passages and shoot for 2 and under, when possible.
Stay away from unfilmables (things no one can know from seeing a certain image/scene).
Always give complete intro's to characters (include an age and some distinguishing physical quality), but don't go overboard by dressing your characters, unless it comes into play later.
Most important, though, is that you get active here at SS by reading and commenting on other scripts. It's a Quid Pro Quo world here and the members are more than happy to help new writers, once they see they are engaging in the site.