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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Horror Scripts  ›  The Shades Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: February 24th, 2016, 6:59am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Shades by Robert de Mezieres - Horror , Supernatural, Thriller - On a remote farm in rural Zululand, a troubled young mother finds herself in the fight of her life to save her five-year old daughter from being possessed by a vengeful, ancestral spirit that manifests as a swarm of eerie wasps. 102 pages - pdf, format


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RodriguezFruitbat
Posted: March 20th, 2016, 4:02pm Report to Moderator
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I read to page 30.

I'm sure someone will comment on a few technical items and such, and the passive writing will bug the hell out of some people, but onto the story:

I think the South African setting is great, it takes me to a place I'd like to see and introduces interesting characters that you don't find in the average horror script.

You're great at setting up tone, painting the scene and developing distinct personalities.

The action is a slow burn, but the scenes still move at a pretty quick pace, and the supernatural elements keep the intrigue up.

So far I've seen (O.S.) used as a way to introduce characters 4 times. I'm not sure what to think of it format-wise, I've often struggled with how to introduce characters before we see them, so in that sense it works for me. But after the 4th time, it starts to loses it's cleaverness.

Overall, I liked the tone of the piece. I usually tend towards horror movies with more action early on, but I think you've set up a great mood that would play well in the hands of a skilled director.
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