The Stranger by Ben Morales - Short, Thriller, Drama - A man who leads an apparently unfulfilling life has to convince a hitman that he is worthy of living.  (Setting: An empty highway, a house in a residential area, a dining room. (All at night) - Actors: Two middle aged men, one handsome, one bald.) 9 pages  - pdf, format

This is so, so, so, so overwritten. You say absolutely everything, and I mean everything that happens.

There are massive chunks of dialogue and action, it's 9 pages that reads like 30.

So many things that need work, would take more time than I have to point it all out, but look at a few of these randomly selected lines to see what I mean.

"PULLS THE TRIGGER with his finger", as opposed to what? We already know he is holding the gun with his hand.

"Behind the wheel of the car is a white, middle-aged man. He
keeps his left arm at his side. His right arm is extended
outwards as he grasps the wheel with his right hand, causing
the sleeve of his charcoal gray jacket to ride up his arm,
exposing an expensive silver watch.", his left hand is here, his right hand is here and so on. It's just too much.

This needs to be trimmed down a lot.

Also some formatting issues but I think there are bigger problems with this.

I would recommend reading some more scripts, look at how lean they are written, and then put that into practice.

Good luck.

Ben,

Some notes.

This one needs to adopt the 'less is more' meme.  As has been pointed out, it's overwritten, giving us details we don't need to know or see.  The first two scenes are filler.  Since the car is not integral to the story, it's just fluff, expensive to shoot.  We can learn everything we need to know about this 'man' (and why not a name?) by starting in the dining room.  How much more enticing would it be if you begin this story with both men at the table?  No gun, just a rick guy and a guy asking about his life.  

Much of the dialogue is redundant and on the nose.  Why not give the 'man' some good lines, some good arguments?  Would there be a surprise in not knowing that he's bargaining for his life?  Make it sound like old friends discussing their lives and successes, and you surprise the audience with a reversal at the end.

The general rule in designing scenes is to get in late and leave early.  The audience will infer the rest.  

Also, make this a fair fight.  You give the assassin all the ammo and the poor 'man' hasn't a pea shooter.  Real conflict comes when the opponents are fairly close in abilities, although the antagonist should be the stronger.  Else, there's no real victory.

Best
Richard

Interesting script. Good logline. Cut out redundant words or sentences, as mentioned by Richard and Warren. I got confused who is who. MAN and STRANGER sounded too similar to me. Could one be MARTIN and the other one HITMAN? Any unexpected twist towards the end of the script would be a bonus. The MAN needs to be let live, otherwise what's the point of the whole script.

'He closes the trunk, locks the car, and walks to the front door of the house', etc. You say 'house', four times, very quickly. That needs to be sorted out. Especially, as it could give a bad impression, so early on.

'(Lightly) I am here to kill you'. That sentence kind of reminds me of the also lightly spoken 'no, Mr. Bond I expect you to die.' Maybe a bit of a cliche, to threaten someone that way?

You use a few words, ending in 'ly'. You should keep those to a minimum.

'And if you play your cards right, you might walk out of here alive.' Now it's getting more interesting. I know yours isn't a comedy, but up till now, it would make a great one, lol!

This certainly kept my interest, and I enjoyed reading it. Maybe you could add more to the story, by adding subtle hints, as to why the man was targeted, or something?