There Goes The Sun  -   And I Say by Ronald Pergola - Short, Drama - A south sea island, romance goes deathly awry for a troubled jingle writer and a naive yet vigilant millennial woman. 6 pages

Trigger Warning - pdf, format

I kinda liked it.

It's quite well written, good formatting and flows really well. Some great visuals. The main problem is all the passive writting, and there is a lot.

Not sure I would classify this as a drama. It ends horrifically and the build up isn't dramatic.

Good scenery description (I worked in a Caribbean resort as a musician)...I liked the script until the ending...then, you wrote "squeezing the last breath of life from her body." but she's still able to kill him with the stiletto....my question is: was she dead or not? In my view, it's not dramatic. Maybe, a romantic scene with conflict would have been more appropriate. Killing in the last scene has be used and re-used. Overall, good writing.
My best.
Fausto

Yup.
Thanks.  I tend to take too many "liberties" hoping the reader will ignore.  Not good. Also, trying to get rid of my  over use of:    is, are and ing.
I appreciate the read.

Some notes.

This one doesn't work for me because there isn't enough setup for the payoff.  No mention that whenever Jack visits a woman goes missing.  No hint that June is looking for a man to geld.  Without some setup--and I don't consider the jealousy mention a setup--the payoff doesn't make sense.  I think you go overboard on the details of the resort.  Most people are going to know what an upscale resort looks like. Same with the sunset.  It's gorgeous, enough.

the jingle stuff is cute but it's not enough to carry the story.

best
Richard