How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests
Pages: 1
Author
drEamScape (currently 1708 views)
Don
Posted: December 9th, 2016, 5:19pm
Administrator Administrator
So, what are you writing?
Location Virginia
Posts 16426
Posts Per Day 1.93
drEamScape by Luke Mepham - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - A Young Woman strolls along a seemingly hedonistic beach and spots an attractive Young Man. But there's something not quite right about this experience. 4 pages - pdf, format
New writer interested in feedback on this work
Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site. ------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
Warren
Posted: December 9th, 2016, 5:32pm
Of The Ancients
A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
Location Sydney, Australia
Posts 3897
Posts Per Day 1.35
I didn't get where you were going with this and as strange as it seems to say, I thought it was too long at 3 pages. Nothing really happens. There are other issues, but if you have no story you have nothing. Did I miss something?
Logged
Reply: 1 - 5
Gum
Posted: December 9th, 2016, 6:19pm
Been Around
Location Some travelling Circus...
Posts 832
Posts Per Day 0.41
I'll concur, this has some issues... It almost feels like a memory seeking validity... a memory that the writer has but, they're not sure why it's there. Check out 'Dreamscape' (1984): A young psychic on the run from himself is recruited by a government agency experimenting with the use of the dream-sharing technology and is given the inverse task of planting an idea into the mind of the U.S. president. Nolan tried to resurrect this concept with 'Inception' but, the shadow ops (scientists involved) were buried too deep within the story to make any credible connection. The initial concept was born out of the 'Montauk Project/Chair' and, victims of the project that frequently experience a bleed through of their repressed memories. This comes across as such, however, it's as confusing as the notion of sentient A.I. itself. ... best of luck.
Logged
Reply: 2 - 5
TonyDionisio
Posted: December 10th, 2016, 9:32am
Been Around
Damnit, get to the point!
Location Tennessee
Posts 768
Posts Per Day 0.20
Wow, dreamscape was 1984!?! If I recall, that was one of the first movies tagged with PG-13 rating.
Reply: 3 - 5
RichardR
Posted: December 10th, 2016, 11:58am
Posts 889
Posts Per Day 0.26
Some notes. Problems, problems. In first scene, white stones 'sit', not 'sits'. in second scene, 'lonely' is tough to film. Give her an action? photo? letter? And we get back to the lab where we find it's all simulation of some kind with an android. OK. Sorry, can't get into this one. Best Richard
Reply: 4 - 5
JakeJon
Posted: December 12th, 2016, 5:24pm
Location NewJersey
Posts 187
Posts Per Day 0.07
L, okay. Why? Where are you going? Help! You need more here, I think. JJ
Reply: 5 - 5
Pages: 1
Locked Board
Board Index Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts [ previous | next ]
Switch to:
News Questions or Comments Site Redesign Screenwriting Class Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Review My Logline Script Review Exchange My Work In Progress Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts The 2020 Writers' Tournament The 2019 Writers' Tournament The 2018 Writers' Tournament The Business Of Scripts Queries and Pitches Options and Contracts Agents, Managers, and Lawyers Copyright Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Short Western Radio and Stage Plays 1Q '24 OWC Halloween 2023 One Week Challenge September '23 OWC August '23 OWC July 2023 OwC April '23 OWC A 'Quickie' Challenge Halloween 2022 One Week Challenge Summer Quickie April 2022 OWC One Queue Twenty-Two The Placeholder 2021 Challenge December 2021 One Week Challenge November, 2021 OWC The Halloween 2021 One Week Challenge The September 2021 OWC The August 2021 OWC The July, 2021 OWC The June 2021 Challenge The May 2021 Challenge The April 2021 Challenge February, 2021 One Week Challenge December 2020 One Week Challenge Halloween 2020 One Week Challenge September, 2020 One Week Challenge June, 2020 One Week Challenge May, 2020 Challenge March Challenge January 2020 - One Week Challenge October, 2019 One Week Challenge The August Challenge April, 2019 One Week Challenge January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018 Stephen King - All about the King Fiction– There Are Other Worlds than These Non-Fiction - To Write is Human, to Edit is Divine Adaptations – Here’s Johnny! Stephen King Collectors and Shelfies
Forum Rules
You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post polls You may not post attachments
HTML is on Blah Code is on Smilies are on