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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Royal Guard
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  Author    Royal Guard  (currently 974 views)
Don
Posted: January 4th, 2017, 6:15pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Royal Guard - (spec Geico commercial) by Barry Katz - Short, Comedy, Commercial - An obnoxious tourist attempts to break a royal guard. 2 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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stevemiles
Posted: January 5th, 2017, 6:30pm Report to Moderator
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Barry,

Even for a one pager I was expecting an ending with a bit more bite than this delivered.  Felt a bit safe - but then I guess that's a result of the whole Geico thing.  Was this part of a comp?  

Not a bad scenario - I smiled, but not sure I'd switch my car insurance...though to be fair I don't think they cover Europe.


My short scripts can be found here on my new & improved budget website:


http://stevemiles80.wixsite.com/sjmilesscripts
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eldave1
Posted: January 6th, 2017, 6:34pm Report to Moderator
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I quite liked this - think it would make a good commercial


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Barry_Katz
Posted: January 6th, 2017, 8:52pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the read and review!  I wrote this commercial completely on spec in hopes of garnering some attention from ad agencies.  I pitched the script to the agency who represents Geico, but they wouldn't even look at it because I wasn't employed by them.  Ahhh... the joys of red tape!

Anyhow, if anyone out there would like to produce this little ditty, it could make a nice addition to your reel.  For those who aren't anywhere near London, a green screen might do the trick.


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Cameron
Posted: February 8th, 2017, 4:46pm Report to Moderator
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I'd never even heard of Geico before, so even though you didn't get the gig, it ironically worked for me.

Aside from that, I really liked it! Shame it never got picked up, keep it on board for a portfolio piece I guess,

Cam
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