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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Activating my Love Gene
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  Author    Activating my Love Gene  (currently 1333 views)
Don
Posted: January 8th, 2017, 5:51pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Activating my Love Gene by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Sci Fi, Dramedy - When, for the first time in his life, a gorgeous woman rejects his advances, a crestfallen womanizer seeks real love with the help of genetics. 14 pages - pdf, format

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RichardR
Posted: January 19th, 2017, 1:42pm Report to Moderator
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Some notes.

This one reminds me of an old song...LOVE POTION #9.  In this case, Luc can't fall in love, although he has no problem with sex.  You might push the envelope on this one.  I don't think you need the info dump in the beginning.  Show her doing what she does without any explanation except for wanting Siena to love her.  You might rethink the scene where the jilted lover berates him.  With his history, this can't be a first time.  And you might play the other woman in another way.  She goes with him, and he has 'issues'.  That's embarrassing.

Yep, Luc needs helps, and she can fix him--just like she fixed Siena.  

And the irony arrives when Siena and Luc fall in love?

In any case, this one needs some work.

Best
Richard
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Simon
Posted: September 6th, 2017, 9:01am Report to Moderator
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An interesting story with a nice twist, but I thought the ending was a little rushed and disappointing. Luc comes across as very sensitive, but at the same time he has loads of one night stands? I found that to be a little bit strange. Luc's cold treatment of Amy doesn't really fit with his later behaviour, when talking about wanting to fall in love. It's not THAT bad, though. Maybe just a bit weird, to me. Wasn't Eileen reckless in giving Luc such a new treatment, without testing it thoroughly? Overall, I thought this was a reasonably good script.


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