I'll start with a sample of dialogue:
Because I’m a socialite. Because I’m beautiful, rich, successful, have tight, firm legs. She feels her legs, slowly.
Really? She feels her legs slowly? How about: 'she runs a perfectly manicured finger along the inside of her thigh' bit of effort, please..
It’s simple really. Phyllis Nightingale seduced him with her wiles and now, he’s dead and we’ll prove it.
What? They're going to prove not that she killed him, but prove he's dead.
The exercise is about writing dialogue genuinely, realistically. I know this is noir, and I know this is an attempt at entertainment but these characters read like halfwits or 'housewives of NY/OC/LA, whatever.
I sincerely hope there are going to be some legit entries. For a writer to pull off send up/parody/black comedy it needs to be clever and the dialogue needs to be great. These women characters are complete airheads obsessed with their wardrobe and makeup. Fluff stereotypes.
I liked the idea of an all female court and that scenario had potential.
I know... You're just having a bit of fun. Fails the challenge imh.
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