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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  The Screenwriter Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: March 10th, 2017, 5:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Screenwriter by Richard D Dubose - Drama - A young man that has earned his masters in screenwriting blackmails and threatens to murder three screenwriting contest judges in order to gain a blind movie deal. After his arrest and incarceration we learn his true intentions were much more ambitious. 85 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Patrick
Posted: March 14th, 2017, 12:14pm Report to Moderator
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Your log line is a touch too long, also you pretty much give away the story. Keep it to two lines. Think as if you were writing a discription for a TV guide. Scene heading should read by general location then by a specific location then  time of day. Eg. INT. SMITH HOME-KITCHEN-NIGHT. Avoid using V.O or any other mechanisim that breaks that fourth wall, in a spec, it comes across as lazy writting. But otherwise a interesting concept.


Patrick J Gillespie
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eldave1
Posted: March 14th, 2017, 4:54pm Report to Moderator
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All of the lines starting with Young Man became a bit tedious


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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