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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Galaxy of Empires Moderators: bert
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SimplyScripts
Posted: May 13th, 2017, 2:33pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Galaxy of Empires by Rudolph Luke Lambert - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Two Imperial Galactic Empires fight for power over the Milky Way Galaxy in the year 4620.  Imperial Generals clash as their empires search for the Lost Shards of the All. 265 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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LuisAnthony
Posted: May 14th, 2017, 12:57pm Report to Moderator
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Hello, I´m going to be honest here, this screenplay is way too long and would be too time consuming for any of us to read and give concrete feedback on.

265 pages equals roughly 4 hours and 25 minutes.

If you want to get reads, you´ve got to cut out a lot from this screenplay. Look at every scene, and think if you absolutely need it to progress the story.

Or you could find a nice spot in the middle to finish, and split this into two scripts, making each around 2 hours and 12 minutes.

The script is incredibly long, so I won´t read it to give you feedback on the story itself, but the least I can do is comment on the formatting.

Some of the action lines are too long, remember keep them at 4-5 lines maximum for efficent reading. There´s also an awkward space between each character dialogue, I don´t know if that was intentional or if the program you used to write this failed you. Apart from that, formatting seems OK enough.

Remember, if this script is very special to you, and you really want some feedback, you really need to offer something shorter. I´ve been in the same situation as you.

Best of luck,
Luis
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eldave1
Posted: May 14th, 2017, 2:12pm Report to Moderator
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Good advice - 265 is non starter


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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HyperMatt
Posted: September 9th, 2017, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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Nobody is going to read a 265 page screenplay. U sure this is not a mini-series?
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