SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is December 18th, 2017, 9:36am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship
Scripts Studios are posting for Award Consideration Updated 12/12

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Personal Incorrectness Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Personal Incorrectness  (currently 145 views)
Don
Posted: May 21st, 2017, 10:25am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
11669
Posts Per Day
1.89
Personal Incorrectness by John Rainone - Series, Comedy - {no logline} 38 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
LuisAnthony
Posted: May 21st, 2017, 1:38pm Report to Moderator
Purple



Posts
111
Posts Per Day
0.06
I would suggest adding a logline, a brief sentence on what the script is about. Scripts without one usually don't get many reads.

I read the first couple of pages, and I'm very confused. I don't know what the point is here, the dialogue seems very unnatural, and the formatting is off. I would suggest reading more. I don't know if this type of formatting is something I don't know about, but it definitely doesn't follow the traditional screenplay format.

Best of Luck,
Luis.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Series  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006