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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Moderators: bert
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  Author    It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia  (currently 2172 views)
Don
Posted: June 9th, 2017, 11:55pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Charlie gets Famous by David Fried - Series, Comedy - {no logline}  32 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2017, 1:24am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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Hi David,

Holy shit that was funny. I love this show and you really captured the essence of every character. So as anyone who watches this show knows it's not very PC, this line cracked me up and I could just picture Frank saying it.


Quoted Text
FRANK
Ooh this is perfect. A reality TV
show family. And I can manage you
like that Kardashian shemale does
with her kids.


You clearly have a knack for comedy, granted you have some great characters to work with. Would love to see what you could do with your own show.

There are a few typos and grammatical errors that would be easy to spot on another read through.

This was awesome!





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Warren
Posted: June 10th, 2017, 3:43am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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I just read this again, seriously it is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's better than a lot of the actual episodes, and I think the actual episodes are great.

Charlie trying to do the product placement, so so funny. I'm still laughing about the toothbrush.


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MarkItZero
Posted: June 10th, 2017, 12:14pm Report to Moderator
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Yep, it's amazing how spot-on this is. I used to love the show but thought the quality went downhill at some point. This is honestly better than later seasons It's Always Sunny. I died laughing at the product placement stuff. And the discussion of Frank pasting Dee's head into a sex tape. And Dennis trying to hand the real housewives a canteen of drugged mojitos to prove he's not trash.

It's not just the characters you got right. It's the whole essence of the show. Everyone out for themselves and motivated by the most insignificant slights and competitions that spiral out of control to hilarious results.

Do networks ever accept submissions for ongoing shows? Probably not. I don't even think Sunny has a traditional writer's room. At least, I know it started out just the three of them writing every episode themselves. Not sure if that's still the case.

I don't know how, but you've gotta get this in someone's hands at FX. Think what would "Wild Card" Charlie do...


That rug really tied the room together.
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JEStaats
Posted: June 11th, 2017, 12:06pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Damn, that was funny! I have to admit that I've never watched an episode, but would binge watch the series if I knew they were as good as this. Nice work!

Punctuation. A lot of punctuation issues. Clean them up and it's ready to go.
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Warren
Posted: June 12th, 2017, 5:05am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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MORE PEOPLE READ THIS.

Do yourself a favour, it's too good not to read.


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Roy
Posted: June 12th, 2017, 11:16am Report to Moderator
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I love the show and this came across as a legitimate episode. Like Mark said, it's impressive how well you captured the show in its entirety.

I also enjoyed how trimmed down the descriptions were. It made it a quick read.

Excellent work.
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Bogey
Posted: June 12th, 2017, 12:26pm Report to Moderator
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Like everyone else, I thought the writing stood out.

One minor format issue: each "Act" should start on a new page (your Act Two starts on the same page that Act One ended), and unless I missed something, I only saw two acts in the script - I believe three is standard, even for a half-hour single-camera comedy (certainly not a deal killer for me).

Good luck with it.
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