David - some of the dialogue is interesting - but you need to tidy this up. Right out of the gate:
Quoted Text The found of footsteps on a stone floor. |
Sound
Quoted Text At a table - Claw´s father and one of his brothers. The other brother pours himself wine at a sideboard. This is AUKE (26). Their father stops laughing.
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One of his brothers is an unfilmable - handle this in dialogue somewhere.
Quoted Text FLASHBACK, EIGHT YEARS AGO. EXT. AT A RIVERSIDE - DAY
Younger Claw sitting on a grass covered riverbank. In the background, a forest. Claw looks at his feet |
Not really the right format. Maybe something like: FLASHBACK - AT A RIVERSIDE - DAY Younger Claw sitting on a grass covered riverbank. In the background, a forest. Claw looks at his feet SUPER: EIGHT YEARS AGO Anyway - just based on the first few pages, I think you should re-review/clean-up. I do like your dialogue. |