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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  The Sand and The Stone Moderators: bert
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RodriguezFruitbat and 1 Guests

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SimplyScripts
Posted: August 2nd, 2017, 5:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Sand and The Stone by Garrison Moore - Comedy - When washed-up boxer Sammy Stone and his best friend/Jerry Sands find out they're going broke, the two are willing to do whatever it takes to continue they're out of control lifestyles and Jerry has been keeping a secret that just may destroy their friendship. 86 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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Warren
Posted: August 2nd, 2017, 5:53pm Report to Moderator
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Typo in the logline, they're = they are. Should be their.

Was just flicking through threads.


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RodriguezFruitbat
Posted: August 2nd, 2017, 9:43pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Garrison,

I read through the first few pages. You're setting up an interesting character, and I'm interested in where you're going with the tone.

You'll have trouble getting people to read the screenplay with the current formatting. It's formatted like a theatre script rather than a feature screenplay (Cast list at the beginning, characters and dialogue aligned to the left.) I highly suggest reformatting if you want people to focus on the story rather than the page.

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RodriguezFruitbat  -  Yesterday, 1:39pm
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