SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is April 17th, 2024, 11:26pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Raindrops
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Raindrops  (currently 666 views)
Don
Posted: August 26th, 2017, 7:44am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16417
Posts Per Day
1.93
Raindrops by Jo Kolar - Short, Drama - In the midst of a storm, an abducted woman must escape to get back to the woman she loves. 8 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  September 17th, 2017, 8:46am
revised draft
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
eldave1
Posted: August 26th, 2017, 10:30pm Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Southern California
Posts
6874
Posts Per Day
1.94
Jo - the writing is fine IMO.

I didn't quite get the point of the story though. Seemed like a horror ending for the sake of a horror ending. You did have me up to the last page though.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
Simon
Posted: August 28th, 2017, 4:46am Report to Moderator
New


English, self taught comedy writer

Location
London
Posts
175
Posts Per Day
0.05
I thought the ending was underdeveloped, (what happened to the wife, etc.) but other than that, I liked what you've come up with.


Please visit and like/follow my Unsubscribe fan page https://www.facebook.com/The-Unsubscribe-Tribe-157356154842321/
.... or my Twitter page https://twitter.com/TheUnsubTribe (Ideally follow both).  I will return the favour. Also, check out the Unsubscribe trailer... :O :O :O https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kDbJm1VhSI
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 3
Jo
Posted: August 29th, 2017, 7:13pm Report to Moderator
New



Posts
9
Posts Per Day
0.00
Thanks for the feedback! I'm new to the short story format so I struggleld quite a bit with getting the essentials. I'm normally used to writing (not necessarily screenplays) much longer pieces and, in this case, I had a different ending in my mind but I thought the story wouldn't be a short story by the time I was done with it.  I was worried about the ending not being developed enough and it seems like that was the case.

If there's any advise you have on short story writing, it would be much appreciated. Thank you!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006