SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is March 28th, 2024, 2:54pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
One Week Challenge - Who Wrote What and Writers' Choice.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Help with a Logline Moderators: George Willson
Users Browsing Forum
AdSense and 8 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Help with a Logline  (currently 449 views)
Steven
Posted: August 29th, 2017, 9:14am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Southern California
Posts
466
Posts Per Day
0.16
I always have trouble coming up with these things, but here is a logline for a script I've outlined.

A single man learns he has a teenage son. He attempts to bond with him the only way he knows how - through baseball.

The summarized story is as follows:

Sean, a 30 something former college baseball player, lives in the city (Chicago or NY) and works a pointless, but pays the bills, office job. His best friend since being a teen, Jackie, who plays with Sean in a weekend type baseball league, sets him up with date after date but Sean fails each time. On his own, Sean meets someone, they get serious, move in together, then Sean runs into a woman he shared a one night stand with some 13 years ago. She has a little boy with her - Sean's son.

His son sees all sorts of baseball stuff in Sean's apartment and comments on it, revealing that he's taken his father's gift of the game and is quite good. The bonding increases while Sean's girlfriend doesn't want children, and is offended that Sean is spending more time with his son rather than her.

Obviously more happens, but that's the sum of it. This is going to be written in a hard PG-13 or even R fashion, but light hearted.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
eldave1
Posted: August 30th, 2017, 10:05am Report to Moderator
January Project Group



Location
Southern California
Posts
6874
Posts Per Day
1.95
Just spit balling:

When a man unexpectedly discovers that he has a twelve-year old son, he must decide if establishing a relationship with the boy is worth abandoning a relationship with the woman he loves.

Still needs work - but that is kind of how I would frame it.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Steven
Posted: August 30th, 2017, 10:13am Report to Moderator
New



Location
Southern California
Posts
466
Posts Per Day
0.16

Quoted from eldave1
Just spit balling:

When a man unexpectedly discovers that he has a twelve-year old son, he must decide if establishing a relationship with the boy is worth abandoning a relationship with the woman he loves.

Still needs work - but that is kind of how I would frame it.


I feel like the decision there is obvious.

I'm considering modifying this a bit, where there is no former fling, but rather a woman he meets ends up having a kid that she doesn't mention at the get go. He struggles with taking on that responsibility but his mind is made up when he realizes the kid appreciates baseball and is very talented.

That's a way more believable decision, and a relatable one.

The way it goes now is Sean (protag) has a group of friends, enough to form a team, who want to start something more serious - an amateur league. They'll be a montage of try outs, so some comedy will ensue there, think of Major League. Also the woman - Irene, will be introduced as a local journalist tasked with covering Sean and his newly formed league.

This is a baseball heavy script, along with the lingo, so it will alienate certain people but whatever.
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Screenwriting Class  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006