D & M, Well I read all 127 pages. Sorry, but I was bored to tears. Kept wishing and hoping that something interesting or surprising would happen. Never did. Why stop at 127, another hundred pages wouldn't have mattered?
Your screenwriting skills were fine but the story was absolutely dead beat. Okay, I'm being harsh and of course this is JMO. If your story has received positive reviews from other readers; GREAT. I would love to hear what their positive comments are. Maybe it's me.
The character conflicts, goals and outcomes were predictable. The build-up's and break-down's went on and on.
I firmly believe you need to eliminate unnecessary scenes. Your story could be told in half the number of pages.
Carry on,
JJ
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