Delivery Boys by Philipp Stuvecke - Short, Comedy ,Web Series - Joey ends up with a food delivery job to pay his friend back after he accidentally puts a hole in his  apartment floor. 11 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Lose all the numbers on the right and left sides of the page.

None of your scene headings are complete - you're missing DAY or NIGHT

Some issues obvious right out of the shoot.

Quoted Text INT. JOEY’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM 1 It’s a sunny, crisp fall day in Brooklyn. The sun is shining through a slightly open apartment window. JOEY (late 20’s) is happily laying in bed with a formation of pillows around him, staring at the ceiling. The T.V. can be heard softly in the background.

You start with an INT scene heading and your first line references something outside.
Get rid of the "is" and "ing".
The scene heading is wrong.
Don't repeat info in the action that is in the slug - e.g., no need for "apartment" window since we already know we're in the apartment.

Maybe something like:

INT. JOEY’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - DAY

The sun shines through a slightly open window. JOEY (late 20’s)
happily lies in bed, a formation of pillows around
him, staring at the ceiling.