Fifty Shades of  Blue by Michael Starich - Short, Thriller, Drama - Ms. Ryan will see you now. 22 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work

Michael - welcome to the site.  Sadly, there are just a ton of issues with the script. Just in the first half page:

Quoted Text Fade In:

Not at all or in CAPS

Quoted Text INT. INDIANAPOLIS INDIANA

Not near correct. How are we inside a city? No DAY or NIGHT indicated. Google how to write a scene heading. This isn't close.

Quoted Text GAIL CLARK is just getting up at 7 AM in the morning and heading down to the kitchen for breakfast with her girlfriend who is the congress woman for Indiana, CHRISTINE HUGHES. After eating breakfast with the sexy CHRISTINE, GAIL CLARK headed back upstairs so that she can get ready for her meeting with the successful, hot, sexy, prosecuting attorney and presidential candidate, MICHELLE RYAN

Tons of problems.
- No age or description for your characters.
- Riddled with unfilmables - 7 AM in the morning - heading down to the kitchen for breakfast with her girlfriend who is the congress woman for Indiana, etc. etc.
- Incorrect Character intros.
- Failure to switch scenes. Eating Breakfast should be one scene. Back upstairs another scene, etc.

You are not ready to write a script as you haven't learned the very basics of the structure. Spend some time Googling and reading other scripts first. Learn the basic rules. It will go a long way.