White Tiger by Charles Mitchell - Action, Adventure - A revengeful thief steals a priceless pearl in part to punish a perceived nemesis. 106 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Hi there. I read a lot of feedback on this site that says 'i'm guessing English is your second language'. And i'm going to say the same but for different reasons. Your English is good but precise in a way that's a little unnatural. For instance, your logline. 'Revengeful' is correct, but in conversation, vengeful would usually be used.

I don't know if there's a story here, only read a few pages. But an editor might help you make this flow better and get more reads. And i'd never usually advise that. But it might be worth it because anyone who writes this character intro -

"Has all the patience and finesse of a sixteen year old trying to get his first lay"

Has a little something at least.

Good luck with this and the journey.