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A few observations, opinions and suggestions for you.
Montage: I would either indicate the scenes using a simple hyphen or type end montage once it's over to offer clarity that the next scene where Cory is in the pizza shop is separate from the montage. I understood it. Most likely will but just to save yourself from the few.
Sluglines: When you established for the first time that Cory is in his one bedroom appartment, I would put the primary location first and the secondary second. In this case I would suggest using, INT. APARTMENT, CORY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT - You have an exterior scene listed as an interior. Probably just a type but I'm another set of eyes and this is what feedback is all about. INT. APARTMENT - MORNING - NEXT DAY CORY goes running out of the apartment. -Should be, EXT. APARTMENT - MORNING Cory runs out of the apartment. -Next morning in the slugline isn't necessary. -Cory runs out of the apartment is the correct tense and sounds better in this sense. In my opinion of course.
Capitalization of Characters: You only need to do this when first introducing a character. Once you have done so, no need to continue to capitalize.
CUT TO: Only use if necessary. A lot of your uses are not necessary. Especially when you write CONTINUOUS in your sluglines. Example: The reader will understand that we are going from outside of Xavier's trailer to inside. No need for a cut to there.
I hope some of this is useful.
Best of luck to you with your current and future projects.
Hey Daniel, I read the first half of the script and liked it. The title ONE LAST SALE is amazing. I really felt for the main character. May be back to read the second half!
This one was a little strange to me. I felt for the kid in the beginning with the disrespectful customers and his monetary problems. I thought the Pierre villain was weird and although I'm glad the kid survived I was wondering about the horns and wolf. What did that mean? I figured his brother wouldn't survive although I was still a little sad at that scene. Overall I liked it.