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I've recently written a chunk of something and two separate comments suggested that I should be writing a scene from the POV of a specific character. I'm a little new to this, and maybe it's the phrasing, but I'm a little confused.
I might be looking too much into this, but wouldn't that be a little like "telling not showing." I can't get too deep into a character through action lines (unless those actions are able to be filmed).
For example, if two characters drive up to a huge house, I can't say things like "Bob stares at the estate, jealous. It's something he's never had, but always wanted."
That would be the POV of Bob during that scene, but couldn't the same reaction be done through dialogue and have the action simplified like "Bob stares at the estate, amazed."
I can provide examples from my project if anyone is interested.
I am guessing that they are not meaning a characters literal POV because that would just be a shot that is filmed through the eyes of the character. Are they asking for the characters prospective?
EXT. MANSION - DAY A van in need of an overhaul pulls up and comes to a stop.
INT. VAN - DAY Ryan turns off the engine and pops open the door. Bob stares at the estate in awe of its sheer size. Ryan turns to Bob. RYAN You coming? Bob nods. BOB One day I'm going to own one of these. Ryan chuckles. RYAN Yeah. You and me both. Ryan exits. Bob takes one last look before he exits.
-Probably a bad example of writing but I think it shows a scene through the prospective of Bob more than Ryan. Making Bob more of the focal point of the scene. Not sure if that is what they are getting at versus just saying two men pull up to a mansion and stare at it in awe then get out.
I agree you can do it through dialogue and action by showing and not telling.
Some examples may be more helpful to see if we can pick up on what exactly they are taking about in regards to feedback.
I am guessing that they are not meaning a characters literal POV because that would just be a shot that is filmed through the eyes of the character. Are they asking for the characters prospective?
EXT. MANSION - DAY A van in need of an overhaul pulls up and comes to a stop.
INT. VAN - DAY Ryan turns off the engine and pops open the door. Bob stares at the estate in awe of its sheer size. Ryan turns to Bob. RYAN You coming? Bob nods. BOB One day I'm going to own one of these. Ryan chuckles. RYAN Yeah. You and me both. Ryan exits. Bob takes one last look before he exits.
-Probably a bad example of writing but I think it shows a scene through the prospective of Bob more than Ryan. Making Bob more of the focal point of the scene. Not sure if that is what they are getting at versus just saying two men pull up to a mansion and stare at it in awe then get out.
I agree you can do it through dialogue and action by showing and not telling.
Some examples may be more helpful to see if we can pick up on what exactly they are taking about in regards to feedback.
All the best, Marty
Here's a short excerpt:
INT. MERCEDES - DAY
RICHARD and SUSIE, both in their late 30s, ride in silence. They take in the landscape and listen to some tunes.
Susie uses her hand to swipe her bangs out of her eyes, accidentally tugging at a few strands of hair.
SUSIE Ow!
She drops the volume down.
Still watching the trees pass-
RICHARD What's the matter?
Susie looks at the hefty engagement ring on her finger and smiles briefly.
SUSIE Nothing. Just this thing always gets caught on stuff. Hard to get used to it.
Richard knows what she's talking about, turns to her.
RICHARD I could'a got you something smaller...
SUSIE Not complaining!
RICHARD Sounds like complaining.
She flips down the visor-mirror, sucks in her cheeks and pulls the skin back to appear slimmer. -------------------------
Regardless if the dialogue is on point or not, I don't see anything wrong with the way this is structured.