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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Aborting Love - Optioned
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Don
Posted: February 18th, 2018, 5:29pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Aborting Love by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Sci Fi, Rom-Com  - In a world  where humanoid robots coexist with human beings, a loveless, middle-aged woman seeks affection from her bionic house assistant. 6 pages

production: Shoestring production. One location, two actors and some make-up. - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  May 17th, 2018, 12:59pm
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Kirsten
Posted: February 19th, 2018, 6:32pm Report to Moderator
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Giving up is not an option....

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Hi Fausto,

This is good, an easy read. The only thing I would like to see in it is more humor since it's a rom com..I don't normally like getting ideas given to me, so I don't want to give you ideas, but it would be funny if she goes to reach for him in her excitement and knocks a drink over him, causing him to malfunction...


"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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Fausto
Posted: February 20th, 2018, 9:40am Report to Moderator
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Hi Kirsten,
thank you very much for reading my script. Please don't worry about giving me your ideas/suggestions. I really appreciate your contribution. The problem (minor) is that it's difficult to insert humor into a story, I thought the story itself was kind of humorous. I would try to add some gags to make the story more comic. A difficult task, though.  
All my best,
Fausto
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Kirsten
Posted: February 20th, 2018, 6:04pm Report to Moderator
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Giving up is not an option....

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Hey Fausto,

Yeah it is a funny story and original, you can go crazy with funny, but it is hard to keep it short...and it's hard to keep it from seeming like a skit.... hence the difficulty. I personally don't think short comedies work well because of this. making it a 25 minute episode in a series works. Any comedies I've written play like skits, really full on  ones..

I just keep seeing the robot malfunctioning because she does something stupid, something that can be linked to her still being alone...??

Anyways good luck with it.


"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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Fausto
Posted: February 21st, 2018, 8:00am Report to Moderator
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Hi Kirsten,
you are 100% correct, a short movie cannot be really funny. There is no time to develop hilarious situations. I appreciate your suggestion, make the woman do something stupid/funny for immediate results. I'll try that. Thank you very much.
My best,
Fausto
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Don
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 1:00pm Report to Moderator
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From Fausto,  

"...my short "Aborting Love" has been optioned by Flow Pictures in Ontario, Canada. "


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 2:19pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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FrankM
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 2:46pm Report to Moderator
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Congratulations!


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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khamanna
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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Nice, Fausto, congrats!
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Kirsten
Posted: June 21st, 2018, 5:05pm Report to Moderator
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Giving up is not an option....

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Congrats Fausto, that's awsome!


"Turn that off, our friend has just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident!"....

'What we do in the Shadows.'
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