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Intrusive Surveillance (currently 1160 views)
Don
Posted: March 11th, 2018, 3:10pm
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So, what are you writing?
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Intrusive Surveillance by Maroun Rached - Short, Comedy - A man notices a surveillance camera inside a public toilet, and has a surprising conversation with the P.A. speaker. 6 pages - pdf, format
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Revision History (1 edits)
Don - March 11th, 2018, 9:31pm
MarkRenshaw
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 8:37am
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I suspect this has been posted in the wrong place!
For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 8:55am
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I had been thinking the same thing when I saw that. Minor mishap.
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bert
Posted: March 12th, 2018, 11:22am
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I had been thinking the same thing when I saw that. Minor mishap.
Amended, thanks for calling it out, guys.
Hey, it's my tiny, little
IMDb!
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Colkurtz8
Posted: March 14th, 2018, 3:43pm
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Maroun This was a bit odd, intentionally so though. A few awkward turns of phrase in the prose and dialogue but I got a few smirks out of it all the same. Col.
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Maroun
Posted: March 14th, 2018, 6:39pm
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Hi Col,
Thanks for the read! Yes, the awkward turns of phrase occur because I'm not a native English speaker: that's what happens when you learn your English from Hollywood
Best,
Maroun.
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Colkurtz8
Posted: March 15th, 2018, 3:04pm
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Yes, the awkward turns of phrase occur because I'm not a native English speaker: that's what happens when you learn your English from Hollywood
- Ah, yes, I half suspected this but didn't want to say because your english is easily good enough to be written by a native speaker...and can you think of a bigger insult than been mistaken for a foreign speaker when you are, in fact, native?
The clunky phrasing is minor, I've read far worse by native speakers.
Knowing this now makes the script all the more impressive, well done.
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