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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Horror  ›  Motion Sensor - WT - Sold
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  Author    Motion Sensor - WT - Sold  (currently 2184 views)
jayrex
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 2:36pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I think the last few words should be

stab, stab, stab

Aside from that, not bad.



Revision History (1 edits)
jayrex  -  April 4th, 2018, 6:02pm
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ajr
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 5:22pm Report to Moderator
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I got confused between the kitchen light and the external light. Was one on and not the other, or were both off at some point?


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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LC
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
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I love the line about balding Bob - still styling optimistically. Made me laugh.

A little bit of confusion over the exterior light (lighting up the kitchen) and the actual kitchen light.

I was strangely left wanting a bit more build up, before Kitty cops it, and a bit more for the denouement. I suppose that's a one-pager for you.

Good job.


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: November 12th, 2018, 8:22pm Report to Moderator
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Just sold Motion Sensor to a producer in LA...


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Warren
Posted: November 12th, 2018, 8:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


A man who has taught his mind to misbehave

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Congrats, Anthony


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 5:05am Report to Moderator
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Excellent! Well done


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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eldave1
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 11:34am Report to Moderator
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Nice, mate!!!


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 2:41pm Report to Moderator
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Tx all!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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FrankM
Posted: November 14th, 2018, 1:14am Report to Moderator
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Congratulations!

* light clicks off *

Uh, guys...


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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