The Basement by Mike Alexopoulos (myersfan) - Horror - A group of independent goths decide to investigate an urban legend about a killer janitor. - rtf, format

Come on ppl. Trust me. You will like this script. It's original and quite simple. Halloween was simple and it was DAMN scary. I am sure u guys would love this one. Most of my friends though so.

Simple: Yes

Original: No

It's like Freddy Kreuger meets groundskeeper Willy in the Simpsons Halloween special

And the ending... SPOILERS



The whole "it was all a dream" thing doesnt wash with me.

You write well enough but i didnt really find anything new and original here

Quoted from myersfan Come on ppl. Trust me. You will like this script. It's original and quite simple. Halloween was simple and it was DAMN scary. I am sure u guys would love this one. Most of my friends though so.

Halloween was simple, but it was also one of the earlier slasher films.  It didn't have thousands of other slasher films to compete against.  


Phil

Halloween was simple in its approach, but it probably still the best slasher made.
Mainly because of a great cast, great directing, great production (for a cheap film it was amazing), and some great cinematography from Dean Cundey who went on to be some what of a legend.

The script itself still stands alone to me as the best horror thriller, let alone slasher.
Only four people die in the whole film, and only one scene do you see blood. The fear factor was how scary it was, I agree, but what film can you say in the last ten years scared you?

Compared to nowaday, where you need a massive body count, pointless gore, repretitive killers and annoying humour.

This script to me of course has premise, potential to be something scary and creepy so lots of luck with it and I hope you continue, but this is no Halloween.

Yeah, Hitchcock hadn't made anything terribly scary for awhile by the time John lifted Sam Loomis from Psycho and made him chase around the demon kid for 17 years.

Seriously, it is difficult to figure out a slasher that has not been done to death. It may work for a writer's workout, but probably will find some difficulty pleasing the audience.

I agree George, but there is always something new in something old.
Sure, Psycho can claim to be the Godfather of Slasher films and it is, but Halloween improved the genre and came with something new and original.

Black Christmas deserves more credit as do probably countless others but then that is a whole different topic!

This script, to me, is no different then any other I have read or seen.

This is not a negative for the writer, just an opinion.

It is a rare slasher that travels a new direction or even dresses up something old to make it new. Scream did a wonderful job on reviving the tired slasher, and dressing it up with something new. It even did what Psycho did and had a big killer twist to it, but at the same time did not try and hide its intentions.

However, I will have to actually read this script and see what it has to offer or not. I'm sure the discussion on the perfect slasher could go on for posts and posts, but this is not the place for it. Perhaps we could use a new topic...

if u have any original ideas that u might want me to turn to a script, send to me ASAP!!!!! Anime_freak98284@hotmail.com

If I had original ideas I'd turn them into a script myself

Seriously though, the slasher genre has been done to death, especially on this site. If you want my advice go for a suspense thriller or something similar, develop your characters, put them in a difficult situation and see how they react, be creative, be different. Don't be too influenced by other movies, be influenced by real life, real people. Read news articles, look for interesting events that you could base a script around. There's lots of ways to be inspired without saying "i wanna write a movie like Halloween"

If this script were to be filmed, would you go see it?

I just finished reading this script and--

--SPOILER SPACE--

--I felt robbed with the "it's only a dream" nonsense.  It makes me feel as if I wasted my time.  Change it!

In regards to characters, you didn't develop them at all.  You mention that the group consists of goths and that's as far as it goes.  You don't describe how they're goth.  You don't mention their appearance.  Their behavior says nothing that supports this description.  You could've said they were eskimoes; it wouldn't have made a difference.  And this is not the first time I've seen a group of high schoolers described as 'goth' yet nothing is done that's goth after it.  I don't know if you're goth or not, Mike, but if you're not, don't write that anyone else is.  You may not understand the culture.

Dialogue:  I found it forced and too on-the-nose.  On page three, with only a few lines, you completely describe the entire backstory.  Drop us hints of the story so we'll want to read more.  Don't just throw it at us.  Also, all the dialogue sounded alike.  You don't do anything to tell any of the characters apart.  They all have the same two-dimensional personality.

Direction/Formatting:  First of all, don't use the word 'we' in the direction.  'We' are not there.  I don't understand the beginning.  Are we supposed to see the characters names scroll down the screen.

You have to introduce the janitor's son earlier on.  Never introduce the killer at the end of the story.  It's just lazy and wrong.

On page six, part of your direction is :  "Alicia looks at Alex.  Alex begins to blush.  Could they be lesbians????"  I didn't even know that Alex was female.  Don't use androgenous names.  For that matter, don't use similar names.  You have Alex and Axel.

Back to the lesbians.  Don't ask questions like "Could they be lesbians?"  Especially when you don't follow up with it.  Every page I turned I expected to read that they were going at it as only Showtime could show.  If the camera can't show what you write, then you don't write it, and that especially goes for, "Could they be lesbians?"

And WTF is the director note on page eight????

STORY:  This is a cookie cutter horror script.  There is nothing unique or different about it.  And because it's so short, there's no suspense.

OVERALL:  I have a very strong feeling that this is a first draft script that you posted.  There's just a lot of problems with it that you might be able to see for yourself if you rewrote the script two or three times more.  Also stretch it out a little.  Do something with the characters.  Your killer is only in the last three pages of the script.

Don't try writing new scripts until you've fixed this one.


Phil

Quoted from Martin Simple: Yes The whole "it was all a dream" thing doesnt wash with me.

^ Once I saw that 'It Was All Just A Dream' I didn't even bother to read it. I DETEST films/screenplays/novels that end with that.

My script is being turned into a graphic novel. If you guys wanna check it out go to http://morphenteractive.com/morphosiscomics

1) Click on the Graphic Novels tab at the top.
2) Scroll all the way to the bottom and click on The Basement

Why on Earth would you tell us to check this out when there is absolutely nothing there to see but a "Coming Soon" blurb?  And I am guessing it is allegedly coming soon at that.

I can get enough of that on this site right here, man...