After Dark by Danny J. Jozef - Horror - A small portside town in Australia called Duran Bay, a peace loving town until a sadistic biologist moves in, his agenda is to create an army of darkness, using his advanced knowleague in science and satanism, he unleashes vampires, werewolves and other modified creatures onto the town infecting many.  It's left in the hands of a young joovie escapee with a god given gift many would never understand and a handful of survivors to put a stop to this unholy crusade and rid Duran Bay of evil. - rtf, format

Those who have read this script, I would like some feed back thank you.

Scarecrow

Alright I began reading this, and from the logline it sounds kind of b. which isn't neccessarily a bad thing. The formatting is a bit off too, nothing a rewrite can't fix, you know.

Anyhow onto the story...

I like the beginning with Mai and Martin with the figure, I take it that's the biologist, right?

The dialogue seems a bit stilted, I think it needs to be revised. If anything this would make a fair indie flick. If the right director is given this, it could turn out rather good in a tongue-in-cheeck way, you know.

Also to the people who read this, I would like you to fill out this for me in relation to After Dark, thank you.

Favourite Death:
Favourite Character:
Favourite Quote:
Favourite Creature:
The Gore Factor:
What You Like To See In The Sequel:

Thank You Guys.
Scarecrow

P.S. This was my first ever script, and your reviews mean a lot.

The gore was alright. Hold off on a sequel, until you polish this up. You are going for a b low budget flick, since that's the angle I think you should go.

Oh and nice job on your first script.

For the revised version to After Dark please go here http://www.angelfire.com/scary/After_Dark

I'm sure a lot of the people that replied are being nice about your script but I'm sorry to say that it is horrible. Not worthy of being made into an Indy film at all. Hell it's not even worthy of being put on the sci-fi network and their movies are BAD! The beginning is a rip off of Wolf's Creek. The rest makes no sense. Why the hell would a biologist create a werewolf and a vampire to help him take over the world? He's a BIOLOGIST!!! Why not create some sort of chemical weapon and threaten to release it into the air? There are a lot of grammatical errors, things spelled incorrectly or differently. And why Australia? Is Australia now the key to everything when it comes to killing or taking over the world. I've written my own script and am happy to say that it is being looked at by some major movie studios so I can criticize all I want. If I were you, i'd go back to the drawing board with this one and start from scratch my friend. Otherwise it will remain in the Unproduced Scripts universe forever.

Grade: F-

Hey.

Werewolves are my fave so I decided to check this out.

Unfortuanately, I don't think I'll be reading this.  And the reason for this is simple.  Format.  It needs sorting.  It looks like you don't have screenwriting software, but that's okay, it's not essential.

My advise.  Just take a look at some other scripts on here and take not on the layout.  One of your primary aims as a writer, is to make the read as easy as possible.  And people simply won't bother reading if it's not formatted correctly.

Interesting idead though.  Stick with it.

Guys, this thread had been inactive for four years. Why did you even make it resuface? The author isn't even around anymore and not once has he commented on others' work.

If you're gonna dig up an old script thread, at least make sure the author even remembers this site.

--Julio

There is something fishy about this.

Why would someone join the boards and the only thing he does is to somehow find a four year old script and make his one and only post?

I mean who can even be bothered to trawl back through years of posts just to pick a random script that has never been reviewed?

Quoted from Murphy I mean who can even be bothered to trawl back through years of posts just to pick a random script that has never been reviewed?

Many people "trawl" scripts from the main site, Gary, where they are listed in alphabetical order -- and this one, beginning with "A", would be one of the first they encounter.

That, and the fact that the review is pretty negative, leads me to think this is legit.

We usually sniff out the sock-puppets pretty fast.

Point taken that it is better to review scripts from active members -- but that is not intuitive at first -- and some people figure that out sooner than others.

Another point -- gently offered here -- is that it is better to let these weird, old threads sink back down as opposed to keeping them afloat with fresh posts