OK, I've recently started writing a new screenplay, and I'm noticing that my action paragraphs are really long sometimes.  Is this a good or a bad thing?  I'm trying to make sure that I'm as descriptive as possible when introducing new settings or new characters, but how much is too much?  Should I leave certain things open for the imagination, or is it better that I create a solid mental picture for my reader?

You can go either way just keep in mind that if it starts to get too long and you question it maybe it's too long and you should cut it back. Personally I like having the mental picture from screenplays, although I don't do it myself I like it in what I read because it makes it easier to invision the stuff happening.

Quoted from eXcero OK, I've recently started writing a new screenplay, and I'm noticing that my action paragraphs are really long sometimes.  Is this a good or a bad thing?  I'm trying to make sure that I'm as descriptive as possible when introducing new settings or new characters, but how much is too much?  Should I leave certain things open for the imagination, or is it better that I create a solid mental picture for my reader?

Do not be overly descriptive.  Write what is important too the scene.  Don't mention what type of car a character drives unless there's a reason for that particular car.

Keep in mind that a page of screenplay should translate to one minute of screen time.  If you take a pull page to describe a person, or a room, then you throw the timing off.

In situations where you need to describe a lot of action, break it up.  It's easier to read and creates a flow for the story.


Phil

okay I think that you should just give whats important to the scene.  Like, just the vitals, dont say exactly what the character is wearing, thats what a costume designer is for.  Dont go into to much detail on the set, thats what set designers are for.  dont go into to much on the.................

I think that it should be as long as you need it, to be. Don't go overboard, but give the reader enough to go on. If you have a real specific idea, then draw a storyboard, and then just write the details. I've never seen this in a pro script or suggested anywhere else, but in one book I read a while back on screenwriting, it suggested that you take each particular action and space them out the way you would with a montage. Like this:

Joe punches Bob.

Bob leaps up in the air and conjures a rifle.

Bob does a back flip and falls onto Joe's bayonet. BLOOD.

Joe lets Bob slide to the ground, then deposits to lead balls in Bob's head.


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Have any of you ever heard of doing that? It's easier on the eye, and gets the point better, but I've never really seen it in action.

A rule of thumb I've read before is to try and not make the action paragraphs more than 3 or 4 lines. There will be some way to break up a paragraph of action within those 3 or 4 lines, usually at the end one action, start a new paragraph. When one character finishes something, start a new one for the response. Along those lines. Just like writing prose, the paragraph should reflect a single thought, not a bunch of them all put together in one clump of black ink.

4 lines and you're out. That's my rule of thumb. Break it up with some dialouge or another action description. IT gets to looking too much like a book if you do it any other way.


Character detail is a must, but be quick and to the point about it. Be specific in your descriptions of your character. Don't go all out and say he has this and wears this and that and his pant leg is tucked into his boot but the other one isn't and shit like that... it's not needed. Be vital to your characters, to just give them and us enough to go on.

Cars, yeah... it's a character thing too. Cause if your character has a personality, most anyone's is always reflected thru the car they drive. It's true. Well, by and large. It's not bad to describe the car one drives, if they are important to the story.

Houses and interior shots. Be as descriptive as you can be here, again, if permited to do so. If the house is a living character in your screenplay, then so be it make it stand out.

I'm not the authority on any of this, just telling you what I do and strive for in my screenplays, that's all.

Balt~

An article I recently read in my Creative Screenwriting Weekly emails about action paragraphs says to avoid four things (okay, one is not action paragraphs, but sort of falls under show vs. tell -- also, I'd post a link, but it was in an email, and I'd violate copyright to post the article):

1. Camera Directions - these are considered laziness and uncreative. You can usually omit them and say the same thing without removing the reader from the story by worrying about where the camera is. You're also taking the director's job away from him.

2. "We see" - this also is somewhat lazy and creatively stifling. It serves to again remove the reader from the story, and besides if I'm the only one reading, where's the rest of this "we" that's being referred to? Simple omission usually ups the quality of the work. Name one book where the writer says "we see" and yet we understand.

3. Overuse of Wrylies - Sure you gotta mention occasionally who is speaking to whom or if their reaction is out of context, but if the setup is sound, then the actor will know how to react whether it be happy, sad, angry, or sublime. This is sort of taking the actor's job away from him.

4. Adverbs - He slowly creeps up on Bob. How else is he going to creep? He brutally beats Bob with a bat. Haven't run across a non-brutal beating recently. This is the only thing I personally have not conquered. However, adverbs tend to tell more than they show and the guy in Creative Screenwriting who wrote this article believes that 3 adverbs in a script is one too many. My editing begins Monday.

The point is by reworking elements of our scripts with these items, we end up with a more creative product that is more enjoyable to read. I went through a couple pages of my own screenplays to check my adverbs, and by removing the adverbs for something else, I was forced to come up with something better. It is something to think about. As I said, my editing begins Monday.

All very good advice above.

I had to hack away at my script upteen times to try to get it as concise as possible. Saying everything you want to in as few lines as possible takes some practice!

Andy x

The only thing I hate that everybody seems to do is write We. It's supposed to be as if it was a real adventure not the writer telling us what's going on.

Quoted from Balt Cars, yeah... it's a character thing too. Cause if your character has a personality, most anyone's is always reflected thru the car they drive. It's true. Well, by and large. It's not bad to describe the car one drives, if they are important to the story. Balt~

Unless your character drives a particular car for a reason (like in 'Starsky and Hutch' or 'Speed Racer'), don't mention the car.  The same applies with firearms.  I read one script a while back where the writer listed the make and model of every car and weapon every character used.  It wasn't necessary.  The production company (particularly the props people) will research what type of gun LAPD carried in 1940 if they need them.  The same with the police cars.

In regards to house, the same applies.  If it doesn't matter what style of house (Tudor, Ranch, Spanish Colonial), don't bother with it.  You could say it it's a large, rundown house or a house with a meticulously kept front lawn at it would help describe the character who lives in it.  There's no reason to decribe the treehouse in the backyard if it has nothing to do witht the story.


Phil

It just occurred to me that if you want the email with this article, I can forward it to you. After this week or next, it should appear on http://www.creativescreenwriting.com CS Daily archive under The Art of Craft. It's called (and this is priceless) "Four Ways to Give a Crap." It's from the 5/6/05 issue and like I said, will likely be in the archives next week. PM me if you want me to forward the email to you before then.