A Zombie Inside by Mike Sitnikov (DisGuy) - Short, Psychological Horror - When four friends are trapped inside a cabin by zombies, they soon realize that the zombies are the least of their concern.  Rated R for Violence/Gore, Language, Adult Themes - rtf, format 8)

For some reason the link wouldnt work for me. I really wanted to read this lol.

Same here.

Link fixed.

-Don

Well that's like music to my ears.  Thanks for fixing the link Don, I appreciate it and it does work now because I just checked it out.  Any comments or feedback would be greatly appreciated so I can mybe do a rewrite or what not.  Any criticism is more than welcome.  Thank you.

Mike.

Has anyone had a chance to read this?  Any feedback welcome.

Mike.

Kids go to a cabin in the woods. Zombies attack. They turn on each other. Start to canniblize. Great.

I think it could be a good idea for a feature if you had a couple more charaters, the story was longer and there was a longer intro to the charaters. If re-written by a second writer into a feature then I could be interested in maybe producing.

Yeah, I've been thinking about turning this into a feature.  Posted the short to see what other people thought and their suggestions before I re-write it.  Thanks for reading.

Mike.

I'm not sure about the talking body parts but it could be funny in an EVIL DEAD type way.
The conversations would need alot of work but I'm sure that wouldn't take too long.
Try sending it to Hank Braxtan at braxtanfilm.com to see what he thinks.

Yeah I've had some confusion with the body parts.  Basically I didn't want just a voice in Mike's head telling him what to do, so I thought maybe have three voices each with their own type of reasoning.  That's basically the story behind that.  I actually might send it to Hank Braxtan.  Thanks for taking time to read and respond.

Mike.

P.S.  Should I just email him or what?

I read this while eating my lunch, that was obviously a mistake, but I enjoyed it all the same. I can definitely see Matts point, because of the length of the script Mike descended into madness just a little too quickly for me, if you turned it into a feature you could really draw out the tension and up the spook factor. At the moment you only show the story from Mike and Jeffs point of view, if you extended it you could switch between the four main characters and build up the paranoia to breaking point - then if you came to make the film, shooting only one location with a minimal budget would actually work to your advantage. I did like the fact this was a zombie film where the zombies weren't actually the biggest threat - reminded me of the end of Night of the Living Dead (I think?) when they survive the zombies only to be shot by humans, and that was the part that really stayed with me.

Thanks Shonagh for reading.  I will in most likely turn this into a feature, maybe change a few things around and probably add a character or two.  I was trying to keep the script somewhat short so developing as much paranoia and showing different POV's was kind of hard.  The important thing to me was to get the story out and see if people liked it.  If they did I could always go back and make it longer or what not.  Thanks for the advice.

Mike.

this is a really good script.

Thanks for reading and for the comment bartman.  Glad you liked it.

Mike.

E-mail him the link and tell him it's only 30 pages so won't take long. Maybe ask if he has any suggestions, I know he wants to do a zombie film by next year.

lol I liked it.  For whatever weird twisted reason.  It had a dash of a couple recent scary movies but meh.  No biggie.

my biggest complaint

* spoiler *

They're in the cabin for about three minutes before zombies attack.  Maybe if they had spent the 1st night in relative peace, just missing the news stories about the monsters (think the dawn of the dead re-make) and then wake up the next morining to the horde of undead.

But what do I know? lol

Anyway fun script!

brion