Fair Warning by Mark A Spencer - Action - Fair Warning is the story of a very successful business executive who owns one of the top brokerage firms in the state. He has groomed his son to step into the firm after college and run the business he has built.   However his son has a change of heart after his best friends little brother overdoses. He vows to become a DEA agent with his best friend to stop the drugs.   His father is furious and will not let it happen. Despite his father wishes, he becomes an agent, and excels through the ranks.  He then is assigned the biggest case of his young career, bringing down the largest drug operation in the state and the top man. (His father) However the agency does not know what he looks like or who he is. The movie goes on a rollercoaster ride until the last chase scene where he corners has father and they are face to face.  He then finds out his father is the top drug dealer.  - doc, format 8)

I think that this script has alot of potential. I enjoy the whole storyline of the script. I thought it was a fairly good read. If you only make a few changes you can turn a good sreenplay into and excellent screenplay and that raises your chances of having it made into a movie.  

Firstly, I feel like you should properly introduce each character before starting their dialogue. As with Gina Bourke, You introduced her as Agent Bourke, and then later started calling her Gina. The reader has to decipher that she is Agent Bourke. Movie Big-wigs want an easy read. Something that is clear and to the point.

Secondly, I think it would profit you to explain the background of each scene better without using alot of words. Every word you include in the screenplay should be carefully thought out.

Lastly, I definitely feel you should review your dialogue, only leave in dialogue that is crucial to or will enhance the plot. Sometimes less dialogue is better sometimes it's not. I leave it up to you to decide. Make the script as tight as possible. Look at other scripts such as "Training Day' or "Manchurian Candidate" or "Collateral". See how everything is structured a certain way. How you visualize the movie in your head. It grabs you. Their is no extra fluff. It has all it needs.

I usually don't comment, but your script has a lot of potential. If it's done right. It'd make a very good movie.

Hmmm... is it me or did you give away the twist in your synopsis?

Yeah, the point of a synopsis is to pull someone into reading your screenplay.  Now you've made it where I know exactly what happens and I don't need to read it.

just read the first dozen pages of your script, couple suggestions if your interested.

typos:  page threeish, wrapping up needs a W.  Blasts needs an S

I come from a law enforcement background, so i can tell you you need to do a little research.  Like most federal agencies DEA doesn't use military ranks, they have agents, special agents, agents in charge, etcetera.  there are no captains.  with a little research you could find the equivalent.  also I dont think there is a commissioner, I think that's just from batman.

typo, the man is wanted IN five states.

sean says, "im not impressed with the material things."  who actually talks like that?  much better to show him uninterested in the material things, like lounging in a nice apartment his dad paid for buyt wearing gym clothes, or underdressed at a fancy restaraunt.

Also you have two drug meets in the first few minutes of the movie.  Very rarely do we actually raid meets of that nature.  mix it up, have a meet, then maybe raiding a stash house or just ambushing a drug load.

TYPO you heArd about the bust?

Also there seems to be no investigation into these raids, the majority of the work is building up to them.  not saying you need to show that, since you want to keep it quick, but you make it seem like the DEA busts down a door every day.  maybe have one bust lead to the other.  it would only take a couple of seconds of one of the first guys wetting himself in an interogation room to kind of link everything and keep it flowing.  plus that could build up to you r later story.

also there is an actual DEA academy.  you dont just show up and they take you to the range and put you in a clearing house (life house).  most likely they would be staying on base, having to move across country away from their family.  they would have classes in the days, physical training, firearms.  they would have real instructors, not just agents pulled directly off a case.  firearms instruction would start with a firing range and a target, theres no way they would put untrained people in a clearing house, unless they were trying to kill them.  I've always known it as a clearing house, but I believe its also called a kill house, not a life house.  because you clear it room by room, killing any threats.

I would suggest skipping all that unless you take the time to get some authenticity in it, and maybe start right with sean graduating, getting a badge pinned on.

I know im probably being nitpicky since this is something i personally know about, but i think it would be worth getting it a little more realistic, even if you leave some room for your imagination.

anyways i'll try to read the rest when i have more time.